"A very big Monday"

my friend Yukon who lives in Alaska took this photo
Wednesday 8:52 am 1/21/09
“A very big Monday”

Well the plan for Monday was take the truck to emissions, then take me to Lane Bryant, then to the YMCA swim pool near Lane Bryant, then come home, then Bill would go to the movies. I had called on Friday to see if Emissions was open Monday Martin Luther King Day and to my happy surprise they said "yes." Then I called the Y to see if they were open and to my happy surprise they said yes. Bill dreads emissions and hates it, but I always enjoy it, so I was looking forward to my Monday outing for whole week-end. We had just found out that the YMCA accepts the city swim pool card during this time when most of the city pools are closed, they let us swim in their pool, and I was curious to try it. I heard it was an outside pool and nice.

And I had bought a skirt on-line from Lane Bryant which I wanted to return. The truck had been in the shop for so long (since day after Christmas) and we had just gotten it back few days before. And during that whole long time Bill had taken me swimming and grocery shopping in the 2nd hand Chrysler. But that car has problems too, Bill did not feel secure going further than swim pool and grocery store in it. But I really wanted a treat. The holidays had been so long and dismal, with all the trauma and drama of truck towed home on Christmas Eve, and then Bill wondering if he could drive it to the mechanic at the dealership (would it go that far? even if it is just 2 miles away). Then after he succeeded getting it there, there was the dramatic phone call about the bill. "You need a new clutch" Dave said, "it is $900." "But you just put in a new clutch day before Christmas 2 years ago, I paid $900 then." "OK I'll look deeper" he said. And so I was all worked up about the bill. I didn't even ask Bill to take me to Lane Bryant, he makes such a fuss about it during the best of times. I just got on internet, clicked on clearance, and took a look. There was a beautiful skirt at a great sale but it turned out to be all gone. But there were two nice skirts, they seemed nice in the picture, and I decided to order them.

A lot of people prefer shopping on-line but I am not one of them. I love going to stores. I love looking at all the stuff they have there. I love chatting it up with the sales girl. For me it is a little like being taken to a toy store as a very little girl, I am entering a store of all treats, I am going to buy myself a treat, I love everything about it. And I love consulting with the sales girl. My system is very simple. First I say "take me to clearance." Then I say "pick out what you love best." And then I buy it. It always works. She takes me right to the few items she loves best in clearance, finds it in my size, and then we go over and pay for it. But somehow a lot of time and chatting goes on. It is a totally enjoyable experience for me.

The last thing Bill and I expected when we just paid $900 to the dealership and got truck back few days ago, was that it would fail emissions test. We were both shocked. Bill drove the truck all the way back to dealership and told Dave, but all he said was "you can bring it in tomorrow if you want." So then Bill took it to Mark and Larry who do the work on the 2nd hand Chrysler and there was a mechanic there, a very nice guy who knew all about cars, and he studied the paper Bill got from emissions which says what is wrong, and he said "it means you have a problem with your carburetor." He said "Mark, the owner, will be back tomorrow and he is the carburetor expert, let him look at it." I was stunned it was a carburetor problem cause Dave at the dealership had replaced the carburetor two years ago (the week before Christmas) at the same time he replaced the clutch. In fact I hadn't known the clutch was bad, till he replaced the carburetor, took it out for a test drive, and called me and said "you need a new clutch."

It was such heaven to be at Mark and Larry's. That nice mechanic looked just like when I was a very little girl with my daddy, and we stopped at Applebones garage in Old Forge for gas, and the teen age boy would wash the windshield while I was there, a country boy. And he looked like a young beautiful god to me. I always thought when I become a teenager and have a boyfriend, I want a boyfriend just like this. The mechanic who was so nice to us at Mark and Larry wasn't pretty, he was very odd looking, but everything about him was exactly the same. He really looked like a guy who liked to tinker with cars, my childhood ideal. And he was so nice and he knew so much, and was so expert.

And then Mike came over to say hi. Mike of course looks exactly the opposite of the skinny teenage gas station boys I adored as 5 year old girl. I don't know how tall Santa Claus is, but if Santa Claus were tall and younger, he would look like Mike. I guess he is a big warm bear of a man. There is huge love between me and mike because 2 summers ago his dog had 14 puppies, and no matter how hard he tried he could not find homes for them. Bill and Mike are friends from all the times Bill brought the Chrysler there and also from getting gas there, and Mike had put a lot of pressure on Bill to adopt one of the puppies. Bill wanted to anyway, he loves dogs, but we had two then. But his heart really went out to the puppies. “They are born during this inferno summer, it is so hot, it is hotter than hell out there, we have to help them find homes,” he said to me, “ask all your friends.” And of course Mike was desperate to find homes for them, he did not want to take them to the pound. I asked all my friends with no luck, Bill asked all his friends with no luck. But it could have been that very same day, when we were talking about it all day, that the idea suddenly hit me about Craig’s List. “Let me ask Margot how to advertise them on Craig’s List.”

So I emailed Margot and she told me exactly how to do it. And I did it that afternoon. I had to call Mike, that was when I met him, on the phone, I introduced myself. I called him at the Shell station to ask for his home phone number to put in the ad, and to read to him what we had written. Bill had helped me, he had come up with a very good sentence to describe the puppies. And Mike said they have beautiful glossy coats because he feeds them the expensive puppy chow, so I added that and the other information Mike gave me.

And by a happy miracle Mike and his wife started receiving phone calls for the puppies that evening. And I started to be on the phone with his wife, because some of the emails were going to Craig’s List which were then coming to me. And in a few days half the puppies were adopted.

Then I guess it dropped off. I called Mike’s wife and there were still 5 puppies left, so I put in another ad, I only changed the age of the puppies because now they were older. And by a miracle they were all adopted. I had put the ad in both Tucson and Phoenix Craig’s List, and a woman called Mike from Phoenix and said “if you are willing to meet me half way, I will adopt two of them.” A lot of them who adopted were from Phoenix.

Mike was so overjoyed all the puppies were adopted, his wife was so overjoyed, Bill was so overjoyed and I was so overjoyed. And in my last phone call with Mike’s wife, she said how they have a little son but watching all the puppies had gotten her own juices running, she just got back from the doctor today and he told her she will have a boy and it will be born in November and she was overjoyed.

And that was my last contact with Mike or his wife till Monday (the day before yesterday). In my mind the big news was still the baby, but Mike recognized me in the truck and rushed out to tell me he is getting letters from people in Phoenix who adopted the puppies and they enclose photos of the dogs now. He is so happy. And he did say “yes now they have two boys, the little one is 14 months old now.” But I guess he was still so happy and excited about good homes for all those puppies, he loved me so much, and he thanked me so much. “I was just the secretary” I said, “it was all Bill, he cared so much about those puppies, he wanted so badly for them to have good home.” Anyway, it was all swimming in love, which is what I like. The young mechanic who is so expert told Bill “Mark will be back tomorrow, he is the carburetor expect, bring the truck in then.”

I had assumed since we failed emissions since we now have a carburetor problem, that Bill would never consent in a million years to have an afternoon of treats for me. I assumed once he gets upset about something, then it’s all a bust. I’ve never seen my husband consent to be happy when things are going wrong, usually we just wait around at home in a very tense state. I thought “So much for swimming and buying myself treats at Lane Bryant!” I was shocked out of my pants when Bill said “now I take you to the dress store and then we go swimming at the new Y and see what it is like.”

I was shocked and thrilled and overjoyed. I had no idea any happiness was on the agenda for us at all. I was so touched I actually kissed him in the car. And I waltzed out of the truck when we arrived at Lane Bryant.

I had forgotten that he thought we were only going there to return one of the skirts I had bought on internet. He was so tense when we were leaving for emissions at the start, that all I said is “we have to stop at Lane Bryant so I can return the skirt.” But my plan was always to shop while I was there. I hadn’t been there in ages and I hadn’t shopped in ages, I was really looking forward to it.

I showed the skirt I was returning to the sales girl and she agreed with me: “it was way too long, it would just pick up dust.” And we went over and she took it off my charge account, and then I paid for the other skirt which was on my charge account. Whether I would have bought that skirt at that price if I had actually seen it in the store, I don’t know, it wasn’t what I imagined it would be and the clearance price on it was not that great at all. But it really did save me during that long dismal time. One evening after the pool my spirits suddenly rose, and it wasn’t absolutely freezing when we got out, and I wanted to wear something pretty instead of bundling-up-for-the-cold clothes. So after my shower I put on the new skirt and a nice top, and it was the first time I was happy. Hahaha it was my statement to the universe I am ready to be happy again. I was dressed for the occasion.

“So what do you have for me?” I asked, and she took me over to clearance and she picked out two tops for me. And when we went to skirts there was only one kind in my size, but she said she loves it and plans to buy one for herself. Other than the first top she chose for me in clearance, I wasn’t crazy about what she chose, but I have discovered when I get home I always like what she picks out for me. At the cash register I told her the whole story about emissions. I said “I only get to come here when my husband takes the car to emissions,” and I said how the truck had failed and my husband had been so upset on the drive back to the mechanic. She said “I know, then you have to spend all that time calming them down.” “Yes!” I said “exactly!” I was touched she understood so perfectly. I had let Bill blow off steam for half the drive all the way back, but the rest of the drive I had tried to calm him down. She said “well look at the stuff when you get home, if you don’t like it you can always return it.” I said “yes, we will have to come back this way, because he will have to bring the truck back for emissions” and I burst out laughing in joy and merriment, and I turned around and Bill was there.

I don’t think he minded I was laughing and giggling about returning very soon because of emissions, he was mad because it had been such long wait in hot car. “I thought you were just going to return something.” “You haven’t brought me here in months and months, of course I will want to shop.” “I will take you” he said, “you just need to ask, I just didn’t want to go in the broken Chrysler.”

And then we set off to find the Y. It turned out to be easy to find and close by Lane Bryant. They accepted our city pool cards, told us where the swim pool was, and where the changing room was.

In the changing room I started to laugh at myself as I was putting on my bathing suit. I laughed because when I had thanked the guy at the desk for letting us in, I said “this is really nice of you, we really appreciate it because we just got back from emissions and the truck failed.”

It just seemed so funny to me as I was changing into my bathing suit that I had told the guy at the desk “we just failed the emissions test.” I giggled and the woman who had just arrived and was taking off her clothes said “what is so funny?” So I told her the whole story. And of course I realize now she did not understand one word of it. Because Rosie, that is her name, is from Bosnia, she has only been here a few years, she and her brother spend 6 months in Tucson and then the 6 hot months back in their house in Bosnia. And no way is her English good enough to understand why I thought it was so funny that after we failed emissions test, I told the girl at Lane Bryant and now I just told the guy at the desk too. I don’t think she got any of the story, how we went to Lane Bryant because they have pretty dresses and I wanted something pretty. In the pool I swam next to Rosie and we had conversation, and I discovered the very simplest thing is hard for her to understand. “What country are you from?” she asked me. I was so surprised. “I am from New York City” I said. “Me too” she said, “I am from Chicago.” Then she said how she is from Bosnia and they have that house there. I thought it was tactless to say ‘I am familiar with Bosnia because of it being in the news,’ so I said “I know where Bosnia is, it is in eastern Europe.” And she said “southern Europe.” And I said how my grandparents came from Poland and the Ukraine. And she was very gratified. “Aha!” she said. Somehow from the instant she laid eyes on me Rosie had decided I was kinsman of hers.

After I told her the story in the locker room, which I now realize she did not understand one word, she said “I am Rose” and I said “I am Annie.” “Where is the swim pool” I asked her, and she led me right to it. “Is there a Jacuzzi” I said. “Yes” she said and pointed. By now I was feeling so warmly towards her I was holding her hand and calling her Rosie. When Bill arrived I said “this is my friend Rosie” and introduced Bill to Rosie too. And then I saw Jeff. “O Jeff we just failed emissions,” and he made very sympathetic face, people are so sweet. “Jeff, this is my friend Rosie” I said and he gave her a very nice hello. It was very reassuring to see Jeff. He is the one we swim with at the public pool, we never expected to see him here. And somehow it made everything beautiful that here was Jeff our old friend and Rose my new friend, and Bill was so happy to see Jeff too.

And Rosie and I chatted in the lane as we swam. We both said how much we love Tucson and that it is paradise. She speaks very good English but her comprehension is still slender. She had decided I had just moved to Tucson yesterday, and it was hard for me to shake her of that idea.

The swim was lovely. I was absolutely amazed I was swimming under blue sky and sunshine happily, instead of suffering at home. Always in the past our response to things going wrong is to just suffer at home. And when Bill and I both hit the jacuzzi after 45 minute swim, I thought I had died and gone to Heaven. I have not been back in a jacuzzi for almost 4 years, since we left the Club. It was soooooooo luxurious, it was Heaven.

And when we got home Bill said he will go to movie. I was thrilled he was willing to be happy, and not upset, and I very happily and contentedly watched all my tv shows and had lots and lots to eat. But when he got back from the movies all hell broke loose, it turns out he was very upset about the broken carburetor, didn’t know if it could be fixed, and what would we do.

And the next morning (yesterday morning) he was even madder about it all, and I thought “O no today is going to be an ordeal,” and there was yelling and screaming on both sides. But then he took the truck to Mark and Larry, walked home, and returned home calm, and actually did take his shower and drink coffee. And so I calmed down too. And eventually Mark called, and I was so relieved to hear Mark say he thinks he can fix the carburetor and it will cost $150. And I was so relieved it was not $900 which is what the dealership charges for everything, and that it could be fixed.

And I brought the phone out to Bill, he was reading in the front yard, and he too was very relieved. “Mark seemed confident he could fix it” Bill said. “Yes” I said. “I guess we will just take the cars to them then” Bill said, “the dealership screwed up the clutch and they screwed up the carburetor, Mark and Larry are better mechanics and their prices are so reasonable.”

And we actually had a very nice calm happy talk in the living room together about how we will only bring the cars to Mark and Larry now. “That’s it for the dealership” I said. “Yes” Bill said. “It’s better” Bill said, “they are better mechanics because they like to tinker, they don’t go by the system, and the walk home is so much shorter and so much more pleasant, the job gets done so much faster and the prices so reasonable.”

And so I guess the era of bringing the truck back to the dealership where we first bought it when we moved to Tucson is over. And we are just with Mark and Larry now for everything....

"Car Mirror Falls Off"

these pics I found on web of bobcat kitten look just like our Priscilla
altho of course Priscilla is just a little backyard alley cat from the lanes who adopted us


9:43 am Friday January 9 2009
"Car mirror falls off"

Well I guess today marks the day of the season which no one talks about (because it doesn't have a name) but I call it "waiting for Spring" and it is one of my favorite seasons. It seems to start the day after you think "OK I've had it with winter! I am now ready for spring." And it's like "at your service, madam" the next day "waiting for Spring begins". I don't know if the sap has actually moved up the trees in my yard, if the tops of the trees are actually reaching for heaven, which is the exact beginning of "waiting for spring," but my eyes are drawn to the tops of the trees looking for it. And maybe that is enough. The field of activity will take place there and I am already in position watching. Hahaha like already taking your seat at a sporting event, you know the game will begin any minute. And last night the Moon sure looked Full, especially by the wee hours of the morning. I bet instant Moon hits exact Full "waiting for spring" will begin. At the very least it is in the mind's eye now. And Buddhist New Year (maybe on the next full moon or new moon) is coming up.

Well all our outdoor kitties seem to have discovered Priscilla has soft berth here. They know food is always put out for her. And we have been having lots of visitors during the night when we sleep. Priscilla sleeps with Bill of course, and she sleeps to noon. Bill's friend Jim wasn't surprised to hear it. He said his cat sleeps with him too but she sprawls in the middle of the bed, he gets pushed to the edge and finally it is so uncomfortable he moves over to the sofa. So then she gets up to sleep with him there.

O my goodness! a cat is screeching in heat! I bet it is our Priscilla! She is totally embarrassing herself. O now she is spitting and fighting! I can't see it, I can hear it. She does not treat her boyfriends well, she spits and fights and bites. It makes Beanie seem so good by contrast, all he does is walk quietly around his yard and bury his cookies. He has nothing to do with this absolutely wild cat party going on. It's like watching one child in second grade classroom sitting calmly at his desk with his hands folded waiting for his homework assignment while all the rest are hanging from the chandeliers and doing spitballs.

Yesterday when we arrived at Willy's pool for our swim in the 2nd hand Chrysler (truck is still in the shop) Bill got out, but I had to organize all my stuff, put my purse in my swim bag, find my towel, take off my long sleeve shirt etc. Maybe it was when I was taking off my long sleeve shirt, I merely bumped something, not hard, and I felt something fall and when I turned around to find out, it was the mirror attached to the windshield. I knew Bill would take that very seriously and I called him back. "O NO!" he said, "it's your fault, you have too much stuff." It looked like it had just been glued up on there, so I said "wait! I'll get Willy! he has all the tools." I thought we could just glue it back. Willy came out with me, but he said the same thing happened to him last week, he told Bill he went to Pep Boys and bought the kit, but it takes 24 hours to dry, and he learned the hard way he should have made an x with a pencil to mark the spot. Bill said it happened to him years back and there is a place on Columbus Road which did it in 10 minutes. Willy said he didn't know about that.

So Bill said “Get back in the car Anne, we'll go over there now.” He was worried the place wouldn’t be there any more, “things change” he kept saying “and not always for the best.” And we went there and it wasn’t there. So we tried Columbus Glass and Mirror, the place Willy had guessed Bill meant, but they don’t do cars. So we went to Pep Boys and he said we have to go to an auto body and glass shop, and gave us a card for one by Swapmeet. Bill said “I’m not going all the way over there.” So he said “well then go home and look up one in the phone book.”

So we got home, and Bill said "Look on the computer and find one close to us." They were all far away, but one had a close-to-us address so I called. I don't know why the guy, he said his name is Cort, found it all so humorous, but whatever I said he cracked a joke, which naturally put me in a good mood, it made it all seem so no-big-deal. Car terminology is just not at my fingertips. I should have said "the mirror fell off the windshield," but the word windshield was not in my mind, so instead I told him the story. "I just bumped it the least little bit and it fell off" I said. I thought I was clear. But it was a Tucson auto glass company, he kept trying to understand what glass was broken. Clearly he thought I was an idiot. So he approached the problem with baby steps to try to figure out what was broken. "What kind of car do you have?" he asked, and I told him all about our 2nd hand Chrysler, I did not understand why he wanted that info. But finally it dawned on him what the problem was. "The mirror fell off your windshield?" he asked. "YES!" I said "YES!" "So no glass is broken?" "No, no glass is broken." "Is the mirror broken?" "No" I said, "it fell into my lap, so it had a soft ride home" and I burst out laughing. "Well that's no problem" he said, "this happens all the time, it just happened to me this morning because I have a very old car, the UV in the sunlight simply eats up the adhesive, it happens in new cars too. It wasn't your fault it happened, it would have happened anyway." I had told him I bumped it and Bill said it was my fault for having too much stuff.

I guess he doesn't have a shop because he said he will come over to fix it. I said "you will want to be paid in cash not with check or the card." He said "right." I said "how much will it cost, I'll look all over and see how much cash I have." "15 dollars" he said. "15 dollars!" I said "that is great! that is nothing." And then he made another joke "did I say $15 I meant $150." I knew it was a joke. And he said "that is a joke." "I knew it" I said. "When do you want me to come over?" "Now" I said. "Now?" he said. "Yes, now." Bill had said he wanted it fixed now. "OK "he said, "I'm coming over, what is your address?" And I sure thanked him a lot and got off the phone to tell Bill the good news. Bill said he has a $20 and a ten. I said "good! give him the $20, 5 dollars for tip."

And then I went to the couch in backyard to relax in sunshine, the house is ice cold. My Higher Self said he will be there in 15 minutes so I just lay there and chit-chatted with my Higher Self and communicated with Cort in my mind too. And Beanie came out so he could lounge next to me on the ground and have gazillion pets. And eventually I heard what sounded like voices in my front yard but I could not be sure. And then Bill came out and said “it’s done, but we have to wait 10 minutes, then I will take you to Edith Ball Pool and we will go to Sunflower to buy food for Beanie and groceries.” “Great!” I said “great!” “Did you give him the $20” I asked. “Yes” he said, “he was very appreciative.” “Good!” I said “good!”

And 15 minutes later we set off for the swimming pool again, a different pool tho cause Willy's is closed. And it was a really nice swim and Jeff was there, I was surprised and happy to see him. And delicious hot showers. Willy's showers have not gotten warmer, they have gotten colder. Now all the girls are happy when it turns tepid from ice cold, the day we thought it would be hot are just a memory.

And we did nice little shopping at Sunflower. Bill waited in car. There were a lot of instructions. "Don't touch the mirror!" he told me, "don't slam the door! and have all your stuff organized so you don't bump it!" "I promise I will be very careful" I said. When we got out of Sunflower I guess sunset was starting. I really rarely do get to see sunsets, none of my windows face it, and usually I am watching tv anyway. But when things go wrong, hahahaha, somehow it always means you are driving in the car at sunset, you do get to see the sunsets. Of course usually it is a beauty show involving pink. But yesterday was one of my favorites because you so rarely see it. It all involved yellow light, a pale yellow, almost lemony. It was so subtle and so beautiful it took my breath away. I loved it. And all’s well that ends well.

“The Marriage proposal”

photo of eagles posted by my friend in Alaska
“The Marriage proposal”
Written Sunday morning, January 18, 2009

Yesterday Bill took me to Willy's pool. We had not been there for a few days, we had been going to Edith Ball Pool at sunset. It was nice to see the Sun sparkling on the water again, to be back in all that light and beauty, that alive sparkling lit-up world. Mary, the lifeguard, said "the pool is cold, one of the heaters is not working right." So naturally I put off going in the water, I stood by her lifeguard stand and talked to her.

Because it is Martin Luther King Day weekend (the pools are closed tomorrow for the holiday, and for me it began few days ago on his actual birthday; Bill and I had gotten married on whatever day Martin Luther King Day fell on that year, because Bill was off from work and we went and got married) I told Mary "it is my wedding anniversary." She was curious. "How long have you been married?" she asked. And when I said "we got married that day because Bill was off from work for Martin Luther King Day and it rained and sleeted and hailed," she said "then it couldn't have been in Tucson, because it just became a holiday for us a few years ago." I said "it was in New York City." I said "because Bill is Catholic, first I went to the Catholic church in my neighborhood to ask the priest to marry us, but he said absolutely no because I am not a member of the community, and I just want it so I can have picture of church in my wedding pictures." Mary said "I am Catholic, and the priest was very rude to me too, when I asked if I could marry in the church, he said 'unless you put a donation in the envelope every week, you are not part of this community.'" Mary was still mad about it. She said "fine! you won't baptize my children and then they will go to hell!" Mary had more emotions because she is Catholic girl (I hadn't known that) and grew up in Catholic schools, she felt betrayed by the church. I hadn't thought anything. I had just walked out, walked the 5 blocks to the synagogue across the street from me, and asked the rabbi if he would marry us, and he said no also. And then I realized I had a problem on my hands. Getting married wasn't so easy.

"If you were a Catholic girl, you got to wear one of those beautiful white bride dresses for First Holy Communion" I said to Mary, "I always wanted that when I was a little girl." "Yes I did" she said. "You are lucky." She said she didn't wear white brides dress for her wedding, she wore lavender. I think in the end she went to Justice of the Peace. "Lavender is one of my favorite colors, I bet you looked pretty in it, with your blond hair, I bet you were a beautiful bride." Mary just smiled. But with her lovely blond hair and blue eyes, and sweet face, in a lavender dress, I bet she did look pretty, she is a beautiful woman. "There is only one picture, the others didn't come out.” "I'd love to see it" I said. It was the first time I had ever wanted to see someone's wedding photos, I don't know why. I guess because I know Mary and I love her, and I have only seen her in lifeguard clothes, a bathing suit and sweatshirt in winter, or bathing suit in summer. I never saw her in a dress, and it seems special, the dress she wore to her wedding.

It was time for Mary to go off duty, another lifeguard was replacing her, and she pointed out I only half hour to swim now, I might as well jump in. And it was good timing anyway, her kids are all teenagers now, but she and her husband have been having awful war for past year, neither of us wanted to go in that direction.

When she asked how long had I been married, I said how Bill and I had lived together for 16 years first and then I needed dental work and Bill had dental insurance from his job, so I said "let's get married," and he said "you have put up with my bullshit for so long I guess you deserve it." And so we went to get the Marriage License the next day. I laughed and said to Mary "that was my marriage proposal." She giggled and said "not very romantic." It was the first time I had told anyone how Bill proposed to me. "I was surprised" I told Mary "I thought he would be happy to marry me."

Mary was on board about getting married for dental insurance, "that's as good a reason as any" she said, but she didn't think the marriage proposal was romantic. I didn't care about dental insurance. I think once you have lived with someone for that long there has to be a precipitating factor to push it into marriage, otherwise you just keep letting it go. But you always know you want to get married, you are just procrastinating, it's an inertia. You are grateful for the precipitating factor which pushed you into it because it is what you always wanted. I actually find Bill's marriage proposal, which I never till yesterday thought of as a marriage proposal, interesting. It just describes our life so perfectly. It just sounds so much like me that I would say "Bill, dentist says it will cost 1600 dollars, you have dental insurance, let's get married." And Bill would say "you deserve it after what I have put you thru."

I really have no idea how anyone else got proposed to. You see it in the movies all the time but I have not heard specifics from one single other person.