"I had a great time at the Southwest Authors Luncheon"

Cucumber Patch, Tucson AZ by Felix Pasilis
"I had a great time at the Southwest Authors Luncheon"

written Monday 8/22/05

I had a great time at the Southwest Authors Luncheon. Yes Sophia was 15 minutes late to pick me up, which is ordinarily nothing, but I had dressed for it. A pretty black velvet skirt with a pattern on it, a gold scooped-neck sleeveless silk top, and a bra. It was sweltering in the house and blazing outside. The outfit was perfect to wear for the air conditioned conference room where the meeting was held, but too hot to wear to wait outside or to lie down on bed in front of a fan. All I could do was stand at the door impatiently.

I had pictured the lunch taking place in the hotel restaurant, I didn't know it would be in a conference room. Hotel restaurants in Tucson are light-filled beautiful places, atriums with plants growing, and skylights, and very fancy. A conference room is a big room with not a single window. When you arrived you line up at the desk to pay the money and get your nametag.

And the whole room was filled with big round tables, and it was filled to the brim. I was starving because I hadn't eaten a thing so I could have a lot of lunch, and I asked “when do they serve the food?” since all that was at the table was iced water and iced tea. She said “usually pretty quickly” and I said “good.” Sophia had forgotten her notebook so I asked the man for pad of paper and pen for Sophia so she could take notes and he brought it to Sophia. I was overjoyed, I was still trying to make it up to her for being crabby in the car.

As soon as we looked into the sea of faces we saw Steve, who leads our writers group. He was at the table to the left, and he waved to both of us, and said “there are two chairs here.” It was very full, maybe those were the only chairs.

When we sat down I recognized one woman and then I recognized the other. One said to me “didn't you go to Steve's writing meeting?” and I said “yes.”

And then I recognized the other. I said “are you Grandma, you wrote the children's book?” And she said “thank you for remembering.”

She is the one who wrote “Stories By Grandma,” and a print-on-demand company had accepted it. And she said she was going to merchandise it by sitting at the mall with her books and a sign saying “Meet Grandma.”

I felt very comfortable being at the table with Steve at the center of it, Grandma on one side, and Grandma's friend from the meeting at the other side. Next to me was a woman who was slender, made up, tad glamorous with lots of make-up, and a whole lot of very fancy jewelry. She said “I am Lala, we just moved to Tucson in June from Denver when it was 110 here.”

My heart went out to her instantly. On June 29th the temp went up to 113 and stayed there for a solid month. By the time the huge heat finally calmed down and went back to 108, it was monsoon season, humidity was added to the heat, that girl must think she moved to hell.

I said “it's not always like this, you will appreciate there is no winter at all, and at least you have the summer over, I moved here in November and each time someone asked 'how do you like Tucson?' and I said 'I love it,' they said 'have you spent a summer here?' and then they would scare me about the summer.”

Then the M.C. went to the mike and the meeting started. And I thought “what about the food, I am starving.” I thought “I am not going to like this one bit, having a meeting when I can't wait to eat.” He opened up with two jokes. “What is the difference between a publisher and a terrorist?” Answer “You can negotiate with a terrorist.” I laughed my head off, and my happiness soared.

Suddenly I realized what this is all about. We are all writers here, and we have all had our ups and downs with publishers, we are in the same boat. Everything I had been thru, they all had been thru, we had a lot in common that I had in common with no one else. Instead of being isolated people beaten down by rejection letters, we were all together having a banquet and celebrating ourselves, making merry about what we had been thru. The second joke was “How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?” Answer, “One to write the mystery and one to give it the final twist.” I loved it and I laughed my head off. I was now a perfectly happy girl.

Then he did success stories, "Anyone who has a success story in past month come up to the mike.” There were only 2, one had gotten a story he wrote about an experience he had 25 years ago published in an anthology. Actually I recognized the name of that magazine, it is political. Another man, totally delighted with himself, showed us the book he just had published by print-on-demand. He was thrilled with the book and said now it is up to him to sell it himself and he will, and he hopes a real publisher will take it. I cheered both men wildly for their success. I was 100 per cent on the side of those in my own boat. I had never been with those in my own boat before.

Then the MC asked how many people are here for the first time, Sophia and I raised our hands. I didn't get to see who else did, Lala did. And when the MC said the table of invited speakers gets to line up first for the food, he said our table gets to line up second because we have the most newcomers. I was overjoyed.

On line I asked Lala what she writes. She said “suspense.” She has written 4 books already and it looks like this latest one will get published, she is in negotiations.

I said “what is suspense?”

And she said “a mystery is where you don't know who did the murder, but in suspense everyone knows who did it except the main character.”

I said “that is a very fine distinction.”

And I pointed out “with the mystery novels written nowadays, the mystery seems to be the least of it, someone gets murdered in the first chapter and then for the whole rest of the book it doesn't figure in at all, and then in the last chapter we find out who did it, and it is always some character you didn't even remember being in the book at all, the story works just because it is fun to read.”

I helped myself to salad and dressing, just two small pieces of roast beef, a nice portion of the vegetable lasagna, and six of the tiny roasted potatoes with herbs on it. They had taken away the steam tray of the hot vegetables to return it with a fresh one, so I didn't get to take any of that. I took a dinner roll with a hard crust and put butter on it. At the dessert table I took a lot of fruit. The cakes looked delicious but I thought I would wait.

When I got back to the table the man came around with coffee and I said yes. The food was scrumptious. I didn’t eat my roast beef, I had taken that for the dogs. And when I had finished my food I went back to get more roast beef for the dogs. I had brought a plastic bag in my purse to slip it into. I helped myself to another small portion of the vegetable lasagna, two slices of cantaloupe, and a piece of the lemon cake. I was actually full but the lasagna, the cantaloupe, and cake were so yummy I ate it anyway. The hot coffee was really good, I dipped my roll and butter in that. It was great meal. And then I surreptitiously slipped the roast beef into the plastic bag in my purse.

Sophia and Lala talked while we were eating. Lala told Sophia how she had arrived in June when it was 110, and Sophia said where did you come from and Lala said Denver. And Lala asked Sophia where she is from. “You are not from Tucson” and Sophia said “Poland.” And Sophia told Lala that “in Polish lala means dull.” And Lala said that is not her real name. And then they talked about their children. And Sophia got to tell Lala about her brand new grandson born two weeks ago. And Lala said she can’t wait to have grandchildren but it doesn’t look on the agenda.

And then the meeting started up again. A woman said she is just back from New York City and she is a member of the writers union, and she will fight for us to have health care and fight for us with publishers, and the writers union is all about fighting. I tuned her out. I am not into fighting, and my problem is not fighting with publishers, my problem is I can’t find one for love or money, plus I have my Higher Self, I don’t need a writers’ union lawyer to fight for me. The second woman who spoke was a producer of films and Sophia is a screenwriter, I am sure she took notes, she is looking for a producer.

Then we did new members introduce yourself. Lala told how she arrived when it was 110, and she is suspense writer, and how her new book Sidney Sheldon in Hollywood became her friend and he is pushing it so she thinks this one will get published. And she belonged to a wonderful writers group like this in Denver and she found this one on internet and she is overjoyed to have found it.

I was next. I said I was a writer back in New York City and I did not get published, and when I moved to Tucson 12 years ago my interests changed and I did not write, but I met Sophia at the pool and she took me to Steve’s group at Barnes and Noble, and next day I went back to writing, and Steve told me and Sophia to come here, so now we are here.

Next, a man stood up and said he wanted to write a book on meditation so he made his own book, he stretched out the clothesline all thru the house and made the book. Then he gave it to his friends and relatives and they said it is boring. He showed us the book. So then he did another book, called “How to Make a Book.” He stretched the clothesline in the house even longer and made a lot of books. He showed us the book. So then his wife got excited, and wrote a book, “All About My Life,” and he stretched out the clothesline again, and showed us his wife’s book. And he said “a few months ago we got a computer, that made new things possible, so now I did a book with glossy pages and color.” And he showed that one. And I cheered wildly.

And then a man stood up and said he wrote a book about a young man in the barrio, and since he is spiritual, that is also in the book. At first the young man is immature and then he matured. And I knew the story was autobiography, but the man did not say that. And I was interested to read his book.

And then a woman stood up and said she just did her book, “Illegals, Who needs them, I do.” And she said how she and her husband have a 500 acre avocado farm and they could not get anyone to do the labor and the illegals came and they hired them. And not only did the illegals do the farm work, but the contractor had quit building their house, so the illegals pitched in to building their house. And it was the most glorious house in the world, with trees growing everywhere in the house and skylights. She held up her book, and said the pictures of the house are in the book. And she said how she and her husband became very close to the illegals and their families and they all helped each other.

And I swooned. I was immensely touched. What that woman said went right into my heart, I was grateful beyond measure she wrote that book.

And after that I was ready to leave. We had been there close to two hours. The MC was introducing the guest speaker of the meeting. I’m sure the guest speaker was wonderful. She was going to read from her novel and answer questions. But I had a perfect experience and I felt completed. I went into the hotel lobby to ask if I could call my husband to pick me up.

She was so nice to me. She dialed the phone number for me. Bill picked it up right away. He said “I am watching the Cardinals play.” I said “can you pick me up, I had a great time, but I don’t want to stay, we can go to Robinson May and exchange your hat and I can exchange the skirt which is too big for the size smaller and then we can go swimming.” He said “I am on my way.” “I am sorry about you missing the game” I said. He said “it’s probably rerun from last night but I didn’t know it was on.”

I sat outside and smoked a cigarette while I was waiting for him. And then I went back inside to be in the air conditioning. The woman at the desk said “would you like bottled water” and she brought out a bottle of ice cold bottled water. I said “thank you.” Just then I saw Bill drive up.

“The meeting was great” I said to Bill “it was really great, I had a wonderful time, I want to go back next month.” “Good” he said “good.” He said “I got the coach of the Wildcats to sign my hat at the scrimmage last night so now I want a new Wildcats hat, the Nike hat I bought yesterday is attractive but I want a real Wildcats hat, they are my team.” So we drove to El Con mall.

I know exactly why the Southwest Authors Luncheon was great. Because it was an academy awards lunch. We, who write passionately diligently every day, and meet nothing but rejection when we send our work to publishers, awarded ourselves, we gave ourselves a banquet. Waiters came around and refilled our coffee cups. Iced tea with lemon was served to us. The most delicious chocolate cake I ever saw was set up on the dessert tray. We got to be convivial at our table. And hear from our fellows at the microphone.

This is a miraculous and blessed thing....



"Joan thinking" by HaikuHelen
"I am going to the Southwest Authors buffet lunch at the Plaza Hotel today"

Sunday morning 8/21/05

I had not gone back to my writing for 12 years, the whole time I lived in Tucson, till Sophia took me to the writers meeting at Barnes and Noble this past April and I went back to my writing the next day. Usually by end of month I have fallen into old habits, but each time I show up at the meeting, the next morning I am back at my machine, giving writing serious whirl.

There may not be an apparent reason why showing up at Barnes and Noble at 7 pm on 3rd Wednesday of every month to listen to Steve tell us how to get published, is what got Anne back to her writing, and is what keeps Anne at it, but that is how it worked out for me.

So that is why I am not going to predict what going to the 20 dollar buffet Authors luncheon at Plaza Hotel today will bring into my life. I do not know. All I know is I am going. Steve says this is how we network and we have to network. The whole concept of networking baffles me. "What does networking mean?" I asked at the meeting before this one. "Meeting people" Steve said. I'm fine with meeting people, I like to meet people.

My own experience tho is things which help me come from unexpected people in unexpected ways. It is because Sally talked to me in pool about the books she read all the time, and then would lend me the books. And when Sue arrived in Tucson she joined the conversation. So I lent her the books Sally had lent me. And when I xeroxed the story about swimming in the Adirondacks as a kid for my mom, a story I had written back in NYC, I made two extra copies for Sue and Sally. That wasn't the story Sue fell passionately in love with, it was the other one, and she said 10 times "you have to go back to your writing Anne, I want more stuff to read."

And Sophia overheard it and told me about the writers meeting at Barnes and Noble, and day after that I was back at my writing. It is unexpected in various ways cause Sally whose whole life is reading books and loving them so much, and because of her passion for reading I made the story for her, Sue was just an afterthought. And Sally did not get my writing at all, she was tremendously disappointed when she read it.

It is the oddest experience I ever had to be in the midst of that 3 way conversation where Sally said to Sue "her writing is a big nothing" and Sue said "no it's not, it is genre writing, genre writing is for a small limited audience who likes that kind of writing."

I didn't care what Sue said to Sally about it because she had lent my stories to her friends. Whereas Sally was overjoyed the clutter was out of the house when I said "you can return it to me after you read it, you don't have to be stuck with it in the house."

Sophia wasn't even in any of these conversations so how she learned I was a writer and got the idea to invite me to the Barnes and Noble writers meeting on how to get published I don't know. But that is what happened and is how I got back into writing.

Hahaha I guess it all came from networking at the swimming pool.