"Momentous Decisions"
written Saturday October 14 2006
Huge cloud cover. Like a giant bowl. At rim you can see a little turquoise blue peeking thru, as if the cloud cover bowl is slightly too small for all of sky. Cloud cover is grey. It is not like yesterday where the white cottony clouds against the blue sky massed so much the Sun didn’t shine thru. This is bona fide cloudy day. One huge massive grey water-filled cloud is covering the whole sky in all directions.
O first bird just arrived. Tucson birds are not early risers. They chirp at break of dawn but sure take their time leaving the nest. O he is pecking at the stale english muffins I threw into yard. Now his friend arrived also pecking at the english muffin. O now another one, two of them, are pecking at it. First one flew off with fat crumb, second one flew off with fat crumb. O the morning dove arrived and chased the sparrow off the english muffin.
The light is growing a little brighter. Even tho there is tremendous cloud cover, the rising Sun is still bringing more illumination.
The man of the house arose. This is early arising time for him. The basset hound put in her first appearance. She slept like a log on my feather quilt all night. She didn’t open her eyes when I got up.
O the Sun has peeped out somewhere from the huge grey cloud. I see it shining against Caren’s shed to the west. And the sunlight is now dappling the leaves in my yard. Hahaha I guess the cloud cover does not extend far enough to cover where the Sun is now, that it rose above the mountains. There are contrasts now in the sky. The deep dark grey of cloud cover-- and trees lit up, illuminated in light, against backdrop of the dark grey. Of course the Sun and the light will win. In Tucson the light always wins. Our Sun cannot be stopped. It doesn’t matter how thick, dark, grey, the cloud cover is, the Sun will shine it away. The mighty monarch has arisen.
Many people are sent here to the land of the Sun, after they have done battle with light and dark back in the Northeast. By that point they are under guidance of their Higher Self and are moved to Tucson. I thought I was the only one, but back in the days when Access TV Tucson had more spirit shows, and people came on to tell their story, I discovered I was not unique. A dark haired woman from Long Island told her story. The details did not match mine. She had been successful business woman and owner of a few companies on Long Island. Her siege of troubles were in a different department of life than mine. She too eventually turned to her Higher Self for guidance. And upshot was her Higher Self had her and her husband move to Tucson too. Hahaha we are the new immigrants to this sun drenched, highly lit-up, part of the world. We were drawn here by the light.
Altho not everyone follows the same path. Ronna Harris was in San Diego channeling Archangel Michael and he had her move from San Diego to Reno. When you line up with spirit a big move occurs. Your new spirit-directed life takes place in another location.
You start fresh. In that sense you know a few things. You know how you got here, it was suggested by spirit. And you know where you are, a place of more light. And that is enough to take you out of the world. Your new life in the new place is organized by spirit and moves fast. You live in the apartments for 11 months and spirit says “buy a house.” You look at 3 houses and spirit says “buy that one.” And month later you are living in your own house. One year after spirit first suggested you leave NYC and move to Tucson, you are living in big comfortable house in Tucson with huge yard. You have gone from a tiny tenement walk-up in inner city, to big house huge yard in Tucson Arizona in the Southwest USA.
And in the exact middle of that year you are guided by spirit to find the books which will change your life. Because, as much courage as it took to leave all that was familiar in NYC to move to totally unfamiliar unknown Tucson-- it requires far more courage, and is a far more radical move, to give up all your engrained beliefs, and accept brand new diametrically opposite ones. To change how you see reality. To accept that whatever you believed was real before, is unreal. And what you believed was not real, is real. This decision is more life changing than moving to Tucson.
Yes being asked to decide to move to Tucson is scary. I was only able to do it by not wrapping my mind around it. I could decide to do it and I could do the move, but I could not think about it. It took 8 months for the shock to wear off, for me to be able to say to myself “I left New York City, I moved to Tucson.” Before that I could not think about the magnitude of what I had done.
Deciding to believe an opposite belief system is not heart thumping scary like that. And you can’t do it with your eyes closed. It is not like moving to Tucson, which turned out to just be action and no thought was required. Here no action is required. Merely a decision in the mind. But it is a big decision and hard decision. Because, according to the belief system you are being asked to give up-- the new belief system you are asked to accept, is insanity. You are being asked to believe something, which up until this moment you considered insane. In fact you still do believe it is insane.
Yes you have now been logically convinced into it. Your old belief system no longer holds logical water, the new belief system presented to you does. But beliefs take place at a level far deeper than convincing logic offered to your mind in a book does.
In some ways it is like standing at a precipice and told to jump off. Like the decision to move to Tucson, the decision only took 5 minutes to make. In both cases I knew it was do or die decision. In both cases it meant my whole life. And in both cases I did it. And in both cases instantly I made the decision, I was on the other side. And knew it was exactly right decision. That whole new wonderful life and what I always wanted, now stretched out ahead of me.
I had made right decisions. There never was any looking back. There was just joy that I had traveled far enough to be presented with that decision. And was on the other shore where new adventure in life began.
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