The Kitty is a Tramp

dandelion in my back yard (photo by Rusty Storbeck on April 11 2010)
isn't this photo by Rusty heaven
I love it
my backyard is filled with dandelions too now, April is dandelion season on the desert
Today is April 14th
Rusty took his dandelion photos 3 days ago
and guess what! Priscilla, the cat from outside who Bill adopted
had her kittens the same day Rusty took the dandelion photos
maybe at the same time
How sweet of Rusty to bring flowers to the new mom and her 4 new kittens
I just discovered the new kittens now! they are right here in my computer room
in a back corner in midst of all my clutter
I kept hearing little mews while I was on my 'puter this morning, and wondered where the kittens were?
I had no idea they are here in my room, a few feet behind me
I got up for second cup o' coffee
and Priscilla must have left for a drink of water
And I saw them!!!
there are 4 of them 3 days old, two tiny orange ones, two tiny black ones, all cuddled together because Mama left
but stretching out with contentment, their little bellies filled, they had just been nursing
they are adorable, I fell madly in love with them
below is the tiny story I wrote year and a half ago when Priscilla had just arrived
(she arrived out of nowhere, a stray who walked in our backdoor, and made herself at home here)
I see in story I am calling her "the cat" so it is before Bill named her Priscilla

October 2, 2008 6:55 am
A cat adopted Bill

It’s a very pretty early morning on the desert in Tucson. We are blessed with the weather. Last year at this time it was still hellishly hot, instead now it is divine. In fact it is even a little frosty delicious right now in the very early morning, delicious like a fountain drink.

Bill argued with the cat a lot last night. He really does not come in to cook his dinner till quite late, and he decided to cook exquisitely, so he was in there long time. And apparently the cat was in there the whole time. I must have been in back room watching tv with doggie, but I muted all the commercials and during that silence I heard all of Bill’s arguing with the cat.

At first I wondered “who is he talking to in there?” and then I realized the cat has joined him in the kitchen.

As usual the cat won all the arguments, since practically the last thing Bill said to me before we both went to sleep is, “she got 4 cans of food from me, and tomorrow we have to bring in the cat food we bought which is still in the truck, I am down to one can.”

I find it so funny he thinks he can win these arguments. I hear him so earnest so serious laying down the law, saying exactly what he will do and will not do, and what she must do.

“Leave me alone!” I hear him say.

“Enough is enough!” I hear him say.

“I am not going to feed you again” I hear him say.

“I am cooking my dinner, leave me alone!” I hear him say.

“Stop winding yourself around my legs!” I hear him say.

“You are a nuisance” I hear him say.

This went on for quite a long time until she got him to feed her 4 cans of cat food. Then I guess she left to carry on her own life.

In afternoon he read his book on Roman history (he finds it fascinating about fall of Roman empire.) He read it all late afternoon (after we got back from swimming) in his art studio, while I was watching detective tv shows with doggie in back bedroom.

I got up once to fix myself a soda on ice and to my surprise, on the windowsill behind Bill, was the cat. She was there the whole time.

“Did you know the cat is behind you?” I asked.

“No” he said. “She is waiting for me to go to the kitchen, she wants her food.”

Or she might just want to hang out with Bill all afternoon.

She is a stray alley cat kitten, so she must be so strategic when she comes to house to hang out with Bill or get him to feed her.

Because of course THE DOG! It is like "Jack and the Beanstalk" when Jack has to hide under the giant’s wife’s skirts. Kitty has to come into house which has an OGRE in it.

Altho she doesn’t hide when she is discovered she hightails it out of it like lightning. In the evening Beanie patrols the back patio, so she can’t come in. Which makes no difference to her whatsoever. She simply comes in the art studio window.

She has brought so much mystery adventure excitement to our home. Really her coming is a great advent. We did not see hide nor hair of her all weekend, but there was a major cat party going on in some yard very closeby. Bill heard the screaming and caterwauling all Friday night, all Saturday night and all Sunday night. She is definitely a party girl.

And when she finally returned for food, Bill had to feed her 10 times, her party weekend gave her huge appetite.“She is starving” Bill said. That night she slept on Bill’s bed with him, and in the morning she was still so sleepy, she forgot to get up.

It wasn’t till doggie went in there to go under the bed for his morning nap and discovered her, that she had to fly out of the house. Bill said “what an awful rude awakening for her!”

All I know is it is thrilling to discover those beautiful huge yellow eyes staring at me, when I least expect it and in places I least expect. I go over to the plant table by the window in art studio to water the plants, and there are those eyes. She is lying on windowsill right outside it. And once on top of refrigerator. Which explains the mystery of why she knows Bill arrives in kitchen at the exact instant he does. She simply flies down from the top of the refrigerator, or wafts down like a feather.


Well on my political forum there are all new alliances and enemies. To my surprise I am actually liking this whole new forming of new alliances. I don’t mind that the ones I was in alliance with before now tell me I am the stupidest person on the planet.

I am finding it so interesting and enjoyable becoming friends with and close to and getting to know the posters in my new alliance. When I was in my old alliance these are the posters who made war on me, but now butter can’t melt in their mouth when they post to me. They sign their posts to me with ooooo and xxxx, we are having a love fest. Whereas before they were always trying to run me off the forum.

But you know how it is, when love springs up where love never was before, it really is special. I am thrilled with the new blossom of love with the posters who used to hate me before.

Plus some in my old alliance, that I hadn’t noticed before, for some reason they hadn’t been on my radar or come into my view, they are taking advantage of all these huge changes in constellations on the forum, to become my friend.

And I admit I adore them. There is always something so wonderfully special about a brand new friend. You are both in awe of the awakening of friendship and affection and communication. They could easily hate me too for my new views but they have made an opposite choice. To simply enter into communication with me. I love it.

A forum is such a microcosm of the world, and it is such a fun place to be on.

Love, Anne

Awake Before Dawn

another beautiful dandelion photo by Rusty Storbeck on April 11 2010
April 14 2010
I wrote the below teeny peculiar story exactly 2 years ago
it hit me yesterday that we are now 2 years away from the Mass Awakening on our Planet
since this is the most powerful thing to ever happen on our planet
of course it was already affecting everything hugely 2 years ago
But what hit me yesterday, now that we are so much closer to it
can you imagine how it is affecting every single thing now!!!

May 7, 2008
Awake before Dawn
4:33 AM

It is still pitch dark out there. I guess I woke up two hours before dawn. When I woke up I thought it was the middle of the night and I planned to go back to sleep.

Obviously a new energy packet must have arrived the evening before last. Because suddenly out of nowhere I was very thirsty, then very hot, then I wanted to collapse on the bed.

I don’t remember what happened after that. I must have fallen asleep and woke up in middle of night very uncomfortable. And finally drank hot milky fresh coffee, buttered toast, and watched a movie on tv. And relaxed and fell back asleep.

But yesterday I didn’t want to go anywhere. I didn’t go swimming. I did not set one foot out of the house, except into my backyard. Altho I felt fine when I sat down at computer and began to work. The concentration of editing my story I wrote on Friday seemed to help me. I like doing all that work.

Then in the late afternoon the weather changed to totally stormy. I could not believe it when I went into my backyard and looked up at that stormy sky. And all the cold air it brought in with it. I watched tv in the evening and then fell out as I was waiting for a show to come on. When I awoke in middle of night, I realized I had missed the show.

In the evening I answered the emails I had found in the morning when I woke up. They had been written the night before. And Nancy Cantor said about returning home bone-tired in the evening, and Jan had said almost the same thing. And when Jim had called me in the afternoon, I said “I didn’t go swimming today, I decided to stay home.” And he said “me too, I am tired today.” And suddenly I put it all together, and realized a new energy packet had arrived on planet, else why were we all plotzing!

And so this morning I opened up the email I had gotten from a girl who channels Divine Mother. I had requested to be on her email list and to read her newsletter.

“I think I’ll read it,” I thought, “something must be going on."

And sure enough Divine Mother said “this is a very intense time on our planet, but be assured all is well, this is the moment you were born for.”

Which I found very reassuring to read. It is very encouraging, when your mind feels too intense and your body is plotzing, to read “this is the moment you were born for.”

What would we do without the New Age! There is too much discomfort to keep lying in bed. Either I am coughing or gagging, or want to throw up. I am a girl who really needs to hear “this is the moment you were born for.” Otherwise I would think “I am a mess.”

It is a few minutes before 5 am. And the first light has come into the sky. And I don’t think the morning doves went to sleep at all. I hear them calling loudly now, but I heard them calling as soon as I woke up. Hahaha, maybe they too are having the moment they were born for. They were too uncomfortable in their nest to fall back asleep.

Gremlins and bill collectors

tumbleweed (photo by Rusty Storbeck)
7/27/09 Monday
Gremlins and bill collectors

Well it’s Monday morning and I’m happy. Usually I’m not crazy about Mondays, it’s a transition. It’s nice to be relaxed and happy and realize it is Monday, instead of feeling a little off and noticing “it’s Monday and that explains it.”

Yesterday now seems like a dream-- maybe because after I got up at 3:30 this morning and fed the kitties and fed Beanie and put up the coffee and opened the windows in the truck, I slept in a little longer.

I did not do what I did yesterday when I woke up at 3:30. I was so delighted to be up in cool dark air that I just stayed up. I got the mail, I put up the dishes, I had my coffee and toast outside, I watered all the outside plants.

I had actually planned to work on my book when I first woke up, formatting it for publishing, but I picked up a week’s worth of mail, and one of the letters was from a collections agency which threw me for a loop. It must be from the same bill collector company which the guy called me from last week, since they want the same money $369.

It is all so mysterious to me because I finally figured out which hospital and emergency room visit this is for. It is 3 and a half years ago, and that hospital has sliding scale based on income. The bill was so reasonable when it arrived, I just paid it in full right away. I never got a separate doctor’s bill from them, I assumed it was all included. But according to bill collector, there was doctor’s bill for $300 which I did not pay, and which the doctor sold to bill collector, the $69 is interest.

What is odd too is I never got any letters from bill collector dunning me to pay. What I got was that awful phone call two weeks ago, that was the first I heard about it. And now sometime this week a follow-up letter from them arrived, a form letter saying since I chose to be uncooperative they are thinking of taking legal steps, and underneath was some kind of receipt thing, that I should enclose to them with my check for $369.

My first thought was to investigate it all. Call the hospital, have them look up the records. But I didn’t. When I called her at the time (back then) she said everything was included in the bill I paid, x-rays, doctor, everything. I paid it right away and never got any separate bills from anyone.

It makes no sense at all that I am now being dunned for $300, supposedly for the doctor who examined Bill during that visit. Which doesn’t add up since it seems to me the whole bill I paid was for $300, which is why I had been delirious with joy it was so reasonable. And would a doctor in hospital emergency room charge a low income patient $300 to look at his back. Nothing but nothing makes sense.

And would anyone pay a dunning letter like the one I found in mail box yesterday, which gives no information on it, does not give name of doctor, name of hospital, date of visit, service rendered. Merely said “since you chose to be uncooperative we are intending to take you to court.” Under that seems to be the file number they have for me at their dunning company and a place to write out the check to them.

And Jan, who has always paid every doctor’s bill on time and in full, has been getting strange dunning phone messages from bill collectors too. The message on her machine says “if you call us back we will charge you less.” Which Jan said makes no sense to her because "who would call back a bill collector!" Plus she doesn’t owe anyone any money.

Jan has been getting these odd phone messages same time I got my odd phone call and this letter, all over the past month. I get dunning phone call about a bill I already paid, paid in full, the instant it was rendered 3 and a half years ago; and Jan is getting dunning phone messages when she doesn’t owe a cent to anyone.

It has to be gremlins! what else could it be! the bill collection agencies now have gremlins in their system. They are under some gremlin attack!

I got this (gremlin) idea because 10 years ago I read Preparing for Contact by Lyssa Royal. The ET who communicated that book to Lyssa, or channeled it, Sasha, is in charge of contact. Sasha said a lot of preparation is gone thru before a planetary civilization finds out they are not alone in the universe. Sasha said it starts out with movies, dreams, popular songs, the idea of ETs is popped into popular culture in all kinds of ways.

After we are primed that way, next step is to show ETs are benign, they do spectacular rescues to help people. I guess á la superman, save people from burning buildings etc. Sasha explained they can’t do that with Earth because of our “problem.”

Apparently way back in pre-history on our planet, the ETs were here and did wonderful kind helpful things, and the people who were on our planet then mistook them for gods, and worshiped them.

LOL apparently Sasha, who is in charge of contact, thinks we will make the same mistake again and is taking no chances. Which makes me laugh, since no way would I mistake an ET for God, no matter what spectacular abilities they have, or how magnificent their kind and helpful act. I know God, I know Who God is.

Sasha did tell in Lyssa Royal’s book about one planetary civilization which had a huge problem. It was time for them to be prepared for contact, to find out they were not alone in the universe. And so everything was done to prime them for it, to open their mind to this idea.

But they flatly refused. The more effort which was put into opening their mind to the idea, the more they resisted. Finally the pressure to open their mind to the idea and their resistance became too great, something had to happen to relieve the pressure.

Sasha likened it to the water going into a water hose being turned on full pressure, but that planetary civilization refused to let the water flow out. Sasha pointed out when that happens to a garden hose, it finally develops pinhole leaks to let the pressure of the water out. And what happened to that planetary civilization is that they had epidemic of gremlin attacks. That was how the pressure was finally let out.

So that is my only explanation now of why the bill collector agencies are flipping their lid, dunning Jan who never owed money on a doctor’s bill in her life, dunning me for a bill I paid on the spot at the time it was rendered 3 and a half years ago. Their whole system must be under gremlin attack.

It makes sense to me because the Mass Awakening scheduled for our planet is 2 years away now. The enormous pressure to choose love instead of fear, which is what the Awakening is all about. Who of us have not been under that constant pressure until we finally made that new choice, we chose love instead of fear.

And those people and agencies who are fear merchants, will no longer be on our planet after the Mass Awakening occurs. These people will have to choose love in order to stay here. If not, another planet is prepared, hologramically identical to Earth, for those who want things to stay as they always were, and do not want the new change. They will be offered they can go there, and have what they have always had.

Bill collectors are human beings, they have been under the same pressure as everyone to choose love instead of fear. They are fear merchants tho. Their activities and businesses will be suspended in 2 years. But the pressure to change for all has grown exponentially and continues to grow exponentially. I guess that pressure is now being released in bill collection agencies by gremlin attacks.

Which doesn’t mean the letter from bill collector threatening me with taking me to court, did not upset me, it did. To distract myself from obsessing over it, I did not go to work on my book, instead I went to my political forum. It was still only 4:30 in the morning here in Tucson, I had been up for an hour. I guess the juice wasn’t in it for my political forum tho yesterday morning. None of the topics really interested me. I posted what I could, answered posts when I could. And finally at 9:30 when the big heat arrived and I was sweating at my computer, I said to Bill “I am going in to read, that part of the house is cooler.”

I got the gremlin idea partially because Helen’s Higher Self said the day before on the phone, the change is so intense now, that things are folding back on themselves. She described it like looking at graph paper, all those tiny blue boxes, and said the lines are all being redrawn, they are now all about 1/3 off, or 1/3rd different from how they used to be. She said this means things which used to work before, like “work hard and get ahead,” don’t work now, none of the old ways work.

She said another effect is those we used to hate suddenly we love, and those we used to love suddenly we hate. I guess she means those we thought were our enemies, suddenly we love them, and those we used to love, there is a break.

I see this clearly on my forum. The poster Client 9 and I were in constant warfare all these years and now suddenly we can’t love each other enough, every post to me he has hearts love and kisses in it, and he always made war on me before.

And I have noticed actual bona fide tender swimming love and identity with my mom, who everytime I thought of her before, I saw her as judging and criticizing me. Now I see her as wanting to love me, and her being same as me. It is 180 degrees different, and what a wonderful lovely welcomed and unexpected change.

And I see there are changes which went the other way too. In the past month I have had two phone calls with two very old friends, from before college days even. I was the one who made the calls, I am the one who pushed the renewal of the friendship, and when I got off the phone I realized the friendship was over. They had zero interest in me. One I realized never had, and the other if she had, it ended so long ago; that for both of them I simply didn’t exist for them. Both of them just wanted to get rid of me.

So I would describe my own experience-- what did Helen’s Higher Self say? hate changes to love, love changes to hate-- I would describe my experience as love blooming where it hadn’t before; and where it had, that flower has had its day, its bloom is over.... It’s odd there was no sadness, just a fresh brisk feeling, like making space in my mind, like doing yardwork raking up dead leaves. “They don’t like me, maybe they never did. They have zero interest in me, maybe they never had. Out with the old, in with the new.…”

And with the new tender awakening love, where I had never felt it before, it was sweeter than the sweetest pink rose, the true real pink rose of love, there is nothing like it...

Moving to Tucson

desert weed (photo by Rusty Storbeck)

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Moving to Tucson

I didn’t tell anyone we were leaving except our two families, my father provided the funding for it. And I wrote to Bill’s parents in San Diego to tell them.

Altho I did tell my friend Irene, we were on the phone all day together back then, we were best friends and we talked about my move a lot.

But I didn’t tell my neighbors, or all my friends and acquaintances in the neighborhood, because I was in shock about the move. I thought it would help me if each day was normal, until we actually did it. I didn’t want it to be the topic of discussion with everyone. I wanted to be treated as if I was still living in New York and always would, so things would not change.

I told one person, Joey. He was the big brother of a guy I knew in the ‘60s, Victor. And I used to see Joey a lot while I was walking the dog, we had become friends.

I said “I am moving to Tucson,” this was in the school playground where I was throwing the ball for my dog.

“So what else is new!” Joey said.

He didn’t believe me for an instant. Back in New York everyone says they are going to move, but no one ever does move.

It was very interesting being faced with complete and total disbelief. I thought “there is no way to convince someone who doesn’t believe you for an instant, what can you say, ‘I am really going to do it!’ they would just laugh.”

So we had parallel conversation until I happened to mention “the address of my new Tucson apartment is on East 2nd Street.”

And all of a sudden he said, “You rented an apartment there! Then you must really be going to move! Wait this is big, let me buy us both a container of coffee, I want to treat you.”

And I was gratified that now Joey believed me. He came back with coffee for both of us, and he said “I know all about Tucson.”

“Tell me about it! What is it like?” I asked.

He said “it is middle class and you will have to dye your hair.”

And I tried to picture dying my hair red. Everyone dyes their hair red when they dye their hair for the first time. We must all secretly long to be redheads.

The old lady, Mary, had all her stuff set up on the sidewalk in front of my building to sell, and some guys were helping her. And I told them I am moving to Tucson and one of the guys said he had been there.

“What is it like?” I asked.

“There are not many trees” he said.

Which is all I knew about Tucson before I arrived. That I would have to dye my hair and there were not a lot of trees. Altho my Tucson aunt, in one of her conversations, had mentioned something about “on the desert,” so I realized I was moving to the desert. So I pictured Tucson as Arabia as I had seen it in movies.

Which is why I was so taken aback and floored and delighted, when I arrived and found all the flowers here.

My friend Helene, I had told her, she still lived in my neighborhood then, offered to give me the phone number of her friend who has a car service, to drive us all to the airport. And so I called him and the arrangements were made.

And you can imagine my surprise, the Sunday morning before we left (we left in the afternoon of that Sunday) -- when I had Clio at the handball courts and was throwing the ball for her, the young man who was sitting there, who looked a little wasted, as if he had been up all night-- every morning when I threw the ball for Clio at the handball courts, he came in with a container of coffee and looked wasted and talked with me.

I said to him “I am moving to Tucson.”

And he said “I know! I am going to drive you to the airport.”

I was so surprised! But I liked it that someone who knew me and who knew Clio was going to be our driver.

I didn’t tell my neighbors till the morning I left, that Sunday morning I told each one. Altho I must have told Carmine the day before, because when he told his friends in the saloon, he couldn’t remember where it was I was moving. So he said “here! write it down for me,” so I wrote down Tucson Arizona, so he could show it to them.

I didn’t tell my neighbors because I was so close to them and had so many emotions about leaving them. And I didn’t tell the people I was closest to in the neighborhood for the same reason.

And when we sat on the floor in the Newark airport for 5 hours, waiting for our plane, at some point I did start to cry. That is when it hit me for the first time. Before that I had just been thrilled that we had actually succeeded in escaping New York. I had wanted it for so long, and it had seemed impossible, and now I was doing it.

But in the Newark airport it hit me what I was leaving. “I am leaving behind all this love” I thought, and began to wipe away tears.

But my Higher Self said “I would never take you away from love, Annie, you will have even more love in Tucson.” And that reassured me, comforted me, and calmed me down.

A red sun was just setting in Newark when we boarded the airplane. Clio was in a dog carrying case in the baggage department and of course my heart was with her. I had made sure we took a flight which did not involve changing planes because I did not want Clio lost in the changing of planes. Altho we made two stops, where passengers deboarded and emboarded.

We flew thru the night all across America. Altho I still remember seeing all the lights of Phoenix when we stopped at Phoenix.

We were such inexperienced travelers, but luckily my aunt had arranged for the guy who picks her up in his limo, to wait for us in the Tucson airport and drive us to our apartment. It was comforting to us he had one earring and looked like a punk rocker from the East Village. And he helped us find the baggage department so we could collect Clio. Then we got in his limo and drove thru the dark to our new apartment.

After living in our tiny tenement for so long, we were breath-taken by the beauty of the apartment. I could not believe my luck.

“I wonder how long we will be here?” Bill said, as we saw what a great apartment it was.

I was dumbfounded by the question. “We will be here forever” I said.

I had lived in apartments my whole life. I assumed if you find a beautiful apartment at a bargain rent, of course you stay here forever. It is a dream come true..

But exactly one year later we moved into our house. I hadn’t realized Tucson was a place where you could expand.

Letting my hair down

The crow is eating (photo by Rusty Storbeck)
Then the crow flies (photo by Rusty Storbeck)

July 4 2006 “Letting My Hair Down”

In my dream before I awoke this morning Franny and my aunt Celia were having conversation. It was intellectual conversation. They were both very intelligent and intellectual. Celia is the youngest of my father’s siblings. She is 12 years younger than my father, and 13 years younger than Esther, the eldest. Franny is Celia’s Tucson friend, a few years younger than she. Franny was also my first friend when I moved to Tucson. Because she found the apt. for her friend Celia's niece, me. And lived in the same apt. complex, and befriended me when we first arrived.

When I first decided to move to Tucson, I called my cousin Pete and asked him to find me an apt. which accepted dogs. My aunt Celia was in Tucson, her son Pete was in Tucson, and the youngest of her 4 children, Jimmy. Her other two children were living in California. I chose Pete, because when my dad was driving my aunt Esther and me back to Manhattan after a family gathering at his house, my dad and his sister gossiped in the front seat. All their concern was about their baby sister in Tucson. When her husband left her, they took over worrying about her and being in charge of her. It was the ‘60s, and they were very concerned about Celia’s report that her son Pete was now living with the Jesus freaks. My dad said “but they have a good record of getting kids off drugs.” And my aunt Esther said “but we don’t know Pete is on drugs.”

I was so young myself then that I had no judgment about my cousin Pete in Tucson living with the Jesus freaks. I merely thought it was interesting. But by the time I decided to leave NYC and move to Tucson, Jesus was a big part of my life. And it made me feel close to my cousin Pete in Tucson that he believed in Jesus, which is why I chose him to call and ask for help.

I confided that to Pete after I had been in Tucson for several months I told him why I chose him to call and ask for help. There was a long silence and finally he said, “that was an embarrassing episode in my life and I don’t believe in Jesus.” So much for having so much in common. But I guess it served its purpose. I needed to feel close to someone to ask for help.

It had made me feel close to Pete. And Pete had delivered help. He had found me an apt in apt complex called Willow Brook which accepted dogs, and which was the price I wanted to pay, $300 a month. But it fell thru because dog could not weigh over 33 pounds and Clio weighed 37 pounds. But I was immensely encouraged. Then I got phone call from Celia saying Pete had tried and not succeeded so he had turned the job over to her, and she had consulted apartment finders. “It is not easy to find apt in Tucson which accepts dogs.”

Then I got the phone call the apt had been found. I had asked for one bedroom for $300. I was sure I could not afford bigger apt. But Celia had found 2 bedroom for $330. “Great! take it!” I said. “Drive right over, put down the money and take it, I will send you money order for it.” And that is the apartment we moved into two weeks later.

It turned out Celia had been visiting her friend Franny and said to Franny “what I really want for my niece is an apartment like yours, Franny.” So Franny said “let’s go over to management and see if they have any.” And sure enough they had the two bedroom for $330. And when Celia called me, I said “grab it, drive over now and put the money down.” And Celia drove over and put the money down. And when she got back home she said “the apartment is yours.” And I said “great!” We had already started packing up all our stuff in boxes, but we now had an address to send them to.

And when we walked into our new Tucson apartment in the middle of the night two weeks later there was a note from Franny with a jar of salsa as a gift. The note gave helpful hints and welcomed us. Unfortunately Franny had forgotten how old-fashioned NYC is. We shivered at night in the Tucson apt. for a whole month before Franny showed us how to turn on the heat.

Back in NYC at around 5 o’clock on cold winter nights, you would hear the reassuring gurgle of the steam in the radiator. It meant the landlord had turned on the furnace. And at 5 PM in Tucson, when Sun went down and it turned ice cold, I listened for that reassuring gurgle but it never came. I had no idea there was a dial, which you could set at any temperature you want, and be as toasty warm as you wanted to be, and didn’t have to wait for the landlord to decide to give you heat.

Franny had walked with me a few mornings when I walked my dog. She was the only person I knew in Tucson, I was grateful to have her as a friend. Franny told me all about herself, and I did learn a lot about Franny’s life as a result, altho I could not absorb any of it at the time. She did say one very practical thing tho. She pointed to the mountains which were always in view, and said “that is north.” After that I stopped worrying I would get lost when I took my dog out in the morning, I knew I could always orient myself from the mountains.

When we were here 3 months we ran into troubles. And when Franny passed by, instead of hiding my troubles, I confided all of them to her. And a very remarkable thing happened. Because I had let down my hair, Franny let down her hair, we became very close. Before that I had been her best friend’s niece in her eyes, and she had been my aunt’s friend in my eyes. For both of us the other was an extension of Celia.

The wonderful thing about that conversation with Franny at the table was how much we laughed about all our troubles. I said “come in Franny sit down, I’ll make us a cup of coffee.” And as soon as I poured the coffee, she said “Where’s Bill?”

I said “Bill got drunk on his night job, and passed out. They didn’t know he was passed out from drinking, they called ambulance and took him to the hospital. Then Bill got home and for 3 days he raged at me ‘call up your family and have them find you an apartment in New York City, we’re going back.’ And I refused. Finally the neighbors called the cops on Bill. The cops took him to jail last night. This morning, Ron from apt. A4 and I went to the Pima County jail and picked Bill up when he was released. Then Ron told Bill about the Lark, a treatment center for free. Ron told Bill it is very nice there and they all have a lot of fun. So Bill said ‘OK I’m willing to go.’ So Ron drove him there. He will be there for two weeks. So that is why I am alone, and you can sit at kitchen table and we can talk to our hearts content.”

And I cracked up at everything I said. I laughed uproariously at every step of the misadventure, and especially laughed at the point when Bill was hauled off to jail. Of course none of this was funny while it was happening, the whole thing from beginning to end had been one long nightmare. But confiding it to sweet Franny across the table, and laughing my head off about it, was the sweetest experience in the world. I was girl who needed a friend. And Franny was willing to be my friend.

Obviously this changed the entire atmosphere between me and Franny. Instead of being the impressive niece, which is how Celia had billed me to her friend, of her impressive friend Celia, I was just a girl with problems up the bezum. My husband had just been taken off to jail the night before, I had spent the morning hanging out at Pima County jail waiting for him to be released. He had gotten drunk on his first Tucson job, passed out and taken to hospital. I was alone friendless and broke in Tucson. Franny and I drank coffee and laughed and laughed and laughed. We let our hair down about everything.

Then Bill, surprisingly walked in the door. I guess he didn’t like Lark, he didn’t find it so much fun. And Franny left. And phase two of our Tucson life began.

Bill said everyone at Lark was just like him, and one thing he learned from listening to them all, is Tucson is a place where it is very easy to start your own business.

And that afternoon he and Ron started their business as handyman. And when Ron did not want to keep doing it, Bill started his own business as yard worker, which he did successfully and full-time until he started art school.

Becoming an artist was Bill’s dream, and he decided to follow his dream. As Grant Lewi, my favorite astrologer, wrote, “One moves to New York to fulfill a dream, and one leaves New York to fulfill a greater dream.”

Girl lifeguard at my swim pool, cartoon by Billy Stampone