Sunday, November 18, 2007
Moving to Tucson
I didn’t tell anyone we were leaving except our two families, my father provided the funding for it. And I wrote to Bill’s parents in San Diego to tell them.
Altho I did tell my friend Irene, we were on the phone all day together back then, we were best friends and we talked about my move a lot.
But I didn’t tell my neighbors, or all my friends and acquaintances in the neighborhood, because I was in shock about the move. I thought it would help me if each day was normal, until we actually did it. I didn’t want it to be the topic of discussion with everyone. I wanted to be treated as if I was still living in New York and always would, so things would not change.
I told one person, Joey. He was the big brother of a guy I knew in the ‘60s, Victor. And I used to see Joey a lot while I was walking the dog, we had become friends.
I said “I am moving to Tucson,” this was in the school playground where I was throwing the ball for my dog.
“So what else is new!” Joey said.
He didn’t believe me for an instant. Back in New York everyone says they are going to move, but no one ever does move.
It was very interesting being faced with complete and total disbelief. I thought “there is no way to convince someone who doesn’t believe you for an instant, what can you say, ‘I am really going to do it!’ they would just laugh.”
So we had parallel conversation until I happened to mention “the address of my new Tucson apartment is on East 2nd Street.”
And all of a sudden he said, “You rented an apartment there! Then you must really be going to move! Wait this is big, let me buy us both a container of coffee, I want to treat you.”
And I was gratified that now Joey believed me. He came back with coffee for both of us, and he said “I know all about Tucson.”
“Tell me about it! What is it like?” I asked.
He said “it is middle class and you will have to dye your hair.”
And I tried to picture dying my hair red. Everyone dyes their hair red when they dye their hair for the first time. We must all secretly long to be redheads.
The old lady, Mary, had all her stuff set up on the sidewalk in front of my building to sell, and some guys were helping her. And I told them I am moving to Tucson and one of the guys said he had been there.
“What is it like?” I asked.
“There are not many trees” he said.
Which is all I knew about Tucson before I arrived. That I would have to dye my hair and there were not a lot of trees. Altho my Tucson aunt, in one of her conversations, had mentioned something about “on the desert,” so I realized I was moving to the desert. So I pictured Tucson as Arabia as I had seen it in movies.
Which is why I was so taken aback and floored and delighted, when I arrived and found all the flowers here.
My friend Helene, I had told her, she still lived in my neighborhood then, offered to give me the phone number of her friend who has a car service, to drive us all to the airport. And so I called him and the arrangements were made.
And you can imagine my surprise, the Sunday morning before we left (we left in the afternoon of that Sunday) -- when I had Clio at the handball courts and was throwing the ball for her, the young man who was sitting there, who looked a little wasted, as if he had been up all night-- every morning when I threw the ball for Clio at the handball courts, he came in with a container of coffee and looked wasted and talked with me.
I said to him “I am moving to Tucson.”
And he said “I know! I am going to drive you to the airport.”
I was so surprised! But I liked it that someone who knew me and who knew Clio was going to be our driver.
I didn’t tell my neighbors till the morning I left, that Sunday morning I told each one. Altho I must have told Carmine the day before, because when he told his friends in the saloon, he couldn’t remember where it was I was moving. So he said “here! write it down for me,” so I wrote down Tucson Arizona, so he could show it to them.
I didn’t tell my neighbors because I was so close to them and had so many emotions about leaving them. And I didn’t tell the people I was closest to in the neighborhood for the same reason.
And when we sat on the floor in the Newark airport for 5 hours, waiting for our plane, at some point I did start to cry. That is when it hit me for the first time. Before that I had just been thrilled that we had actually succeeded in escaping New York. I had wanted it for so long, and it had seemed impossible, and now I was doing it.
But in the Newark airport it hit me what I was leaving. “I am leaving behind all this love” I thought, and began to wipe away tears.
But my Higher Self said “I would never take you away from love, Annie, you will have even more love in Tucson.” And that reassured me, comforted me, and calmed me down.
A red sun was just setting in Newark when we boarded the airplane. Clio was in a dog carrying case in the baggage department and of course my heart was with her. I had made sure we took a flight which did not involve changing planes because I did not want Clio lost in the changing of planes. Altho we made two stops, where passengers deboarded and emboarded.
We flew thru the night all across America. Altho I still remember seeing all the lights of Phoenix when we stopped at Phoenix.
We were such inexperienced travelers, but luckily my aunt had arranged for the guy who picks her up in his limo, to wait for us in the Tucson airport and drive us to our apartment. It was comforting to us he had one earring and looked like a punk rocker from the East Village. And he helped us find the baggage department so we could collect Clio. Then we got in his limo and drove thru the dark to our new apartment.
After living in our tiny tenement for so long, we were breath-taken by the beauty of the apartment. I could not believe my luck.
“I wonder how long we will be here?” Bill said, as we saw what a great apartment it was.
I was dumbfounded by the question. “We will be here forever” I said.
I had lived in apartments my whole life. I assumed if you find a beautiful apartment at a bargain rent, of course you stay here forever. It is a dream come true..
But exactly one year later we moved into our house. I hadn’t realized Tucson was a place where you could expand.
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