“Jim”

pic by duniya
(I love this pic and I love frogs)

7:15 am, Thursday, April 24, 2008

“Jim”

Well this going back to writing is turning into an adventure. The first day, it did not work at all. The next day, it did. I was thrilled. The third day, yesterday, it didn’t work as a story, but I made such an interesting insight in the middle of trying to write it, that I didn’t care it didn’t work as a story, my insight interested me. And today I woke up right after dawn, before there was a yellow sun, or any color out there, and tried again. But it did not go anywhere.

But I’ll give it another whirl today before I close up shop. It is still early morning, but more advanced. The sky is blue, the leaves are green, the sun is yellow, the birds are chirping. And I can see the black shape of my doggie taking the air, as she lies on the sweet earth, in first warm rays of sun. It is a very sweet sight, her black rounded shape.

Bill cleared out the back living room, a big dis-used room for long time, which wound up just being used for storage, to turn it into an art studio again. The long hot Tucson summer means it is too hot to be outside, he would like to paint in it this summer. I guess he must be wanting to get the feel of that room again, because for past two mornings, as soon as he cleaned it out and set it up, he now takes his art book and sits in comfortable chair and reads it there, instead of outside in first morning sun.

So we are all in different spots. I am here at desk, looking out back window into back yard, where Lulu is taking sunshine and lounging on sweet earth. Beanie of course is behind me, he likes to be wherever I am. And Bill is at other end of the house, trying to turn huge disused living room into art studio.

I got nice email from Eddie, Helen’s big brother, who is darling boy. No matter what he writes me, no matter what the topic, no matter whether we agree or don’t, I always wind up smiling at his email, and happy and thinking ‘what a darling boy.’ It is a very unusual thing to be a darling. I love my husband, I dote on my own brother, I am crazy about Bill’s friend Jim, my own dad was a honey-bunch. But darling is a very special thing. My dog Beanie is a darling and so is Eddie. Something natural and wild and sweet all merged into one perfect package.

Like glimpsing a deer in the woods. You always feels like something rare and wonderful is happening.

Well Jim and I went to 7/11 yesterday to play the lottery. “It is 157 million” Jim said on the way. Apparently Jim handed in his number from last week for the woman to check, that was the day I could not play it with him, because I had zero cash in the house. And then Jim did one of those dances you see them do on tv, a dance of triumph or ecstasy. He had won 3 dollars. And did that shuffle back and forth and swing your hips. It is the funny thing about the lottery. We always go to win 157 million and then jump for joy when we win 3 dollars. “I won! I won! I won!” I exclaim when I win my 3 dollars and Jim actually did that little dance. I have never seen Jim happy in my whole life. So watching that joyous dance had more beauty than a rainbow. There is something very special about watching a human be perfectly happy, you almost never see it. And it is like a planet jumping for joy. You don’t realize what mighty colossal creatures we each are till you feel the impact of Jim dancing with joy in 7/11.

Jim was a football player for the AZ Wildcats back in the day, and he did the dance football players do when they make a good play. It had sports written all over it.

Also Jim said on the way to play the lottery that he just got back from jury duty, and he got picked for jury, he didn’t want to be on a jury but he got picked anyway. But “the prosecuting attorney is a honey.” I think Jim’s spirits are finally rising. The prosecuting attorney is a honey, he won three dollars on the power ball. I have never seen Bill happy, I never thought I would. No man has weathered as much misfortune as he has. And two months ago, when his misfortune suddenly plummeted-- it never occurs to you when you are at the bottom, that you could fall into a huge abyss and go so much lower-- Jim did mention 3 times in 3 days, suicide. He had become desperate. But just when things were at their blackest, there was turn. About two weeks ago, the turn began. He ran into luck instead of bad luck. Some things worked out, instead of working against him, he got a few breaks. And now he is dancing in 7/11, and finds the prosecuting attorney a honey.

It’s a start.

It’s odd to realize Jim is now my best friend. I mean a best friend is an odd thing. He’s Bill’s friend. They have sports in common and go to the high school games together. And do big favors for each other, and watched Superbowl together. They have common interests and things to talk about with each other. It is a normal friendship. But somehow between one thing and another, I got close to him. Altho our conversation is only about what is on tv. He calls almost every day to say “just checking in, what are you guys up to, did you go swimming,” and then we both say what we are watching on tv and get off. It’s kind of like having a neighbor back in NYC, just someone you feel close to and comfortable with, and are used to being around, and where you know a lot about their daily life.

Every once in a while they drop a detail which fleshes out their daily life for you even more. For instance I know Jim takes Maryanne’s yoga class at the club at 8 am on Saturday mornings. I have known this for years, ever since I used to go to the club myself, which is where we first met Jim. But when I mentioned on the phone the other day “swimming is like yoga, it relaxes you,” Jim said “but it’s nice to socialize after yoga, we all go out for coffee and bagels together.” I had no idea Jim went out for coffee and bagels with Maryanne and the other members of his yoga class. It gives me a bigger picture of his Saturday mornings. That’s what I mean when I say a best friend is an odd thing. It isn’t someone you chose, somehow life threw you together. And your relationship is like a jig-saw puzzle, but one with big pieces, like a child’s. Every so often a new piece emerges, where you know exactly where to place it, and more of the picture comes into show. And picture is always about how they spend their day.

“Were you able to go to the club today?” I asked Jim when he picked me up for lottery and told me he just got back from jury duty. “No” he said, “but I hope to go tomorrow, I think the case will be over fast.” And then he said “court is so boring.” I know how boring court is which is why I was glad he said the prosecuting attorney is a honey. It was nice that something fun was taking place there.

Jim is actually the perfect juror to be on this case, whichever lawyer chose him knew what they are doing. The prosecution (I guess that means Jim’s honey) claims the trucker had 17 drinks. But Jim said he knows what 17 drinks is like, and no way could the trucker have walked the straight line perfectly if he had. “He had come out of the bar where he had been playing pool, of course he was drinking in there” Jim said. “But so what! he walked the straight line perfectly. How do they know he had 17 drinks! They don’t have any case against him, it will be over tomorrow.”

LOL it is 8:43. That means Jim is there right now. With the cute prosecutor and the hapless trucker. Well Jim I hope all your wishes come true. You get the trucker off early. You get to go to the club today for your swim and steam bath and yoga, and to show your face. I hope the pretty prosecutor asks you for your email address, and I hope you remember how to get on email. You will discover email is a lot of fun once you start getting emails from honeys....

Love and kisses, Annie