Sunday August 26 2007
"Republican BBQ party on South Side of Town with my friend Jim"
(The whole Tucson Ron Paul Meet-up group was invited, so I was invited too)
I had an OK time at the Republican Party bar b q yesterday. It wasn’t one bit what I expected it to be. I had delusions of grandeur when I heard it was a Republican Party bar b q at a ranch. Instead Mitzi had 3 big picnic tables set up in her yard and we all trooped into her house to get the bar b q buffet. You walked thru the screened-in porch, past the alcove with the washer and dryer, thru the kitchen, made steep right, and she has the bar b q buffet set up there. Everything about it was homey to the max.
In the yard people were standing around talking, or sitting down talking. Apparently two of Mitzi’s cats had kittens, because there were a lot of kittens walking around everyone. And the children were always stooping to pick up and hold one of the kittens. The kittens looked like they were having a good time at the buffet luncheon for the Republican Party.
And my vision of hot-shot big-shot rich Republicans was more or less shot to hell. Either they don’t exist outside of my imagination or they were not at Mitzi’s bar b q luncheon. All the people there looked like they could be on line with you at a Circle K, or standing behind you at check-out counter at Fry’s supermarket. And by and large they were the least glossy people I ever saw.
The Ron Paul contingent was all at one table. I recognized them because they were all wearing “Ron Paul Revolution” T shirts. I don’t say they stuck out like a sore thumb, but they were younger. And compared to the crowd at Mitzi’s bar b q buffet they looked cool, hip, and sexy.
I wouldn’t have longed to go over and be with them if the person I was sitting next to at table, was not the most impossible to-talk-to person I ever met.
Jim and I had arrived late. First because we started out late. He picked me up at 4:30, the buffet bar b q was scheduled to start at 4 pm. Second of all when I read the directions from google to Jim over the phone, he said “I know where Oaha is, all I need is the address.” The address was 9131 South Oaha Avenue, so that is all I wrote down when I went to meet Jim.
He arrived at exactly the time he said he would, which surprised me, in the new car he had rented because his car was in the shop (again!). And it was fun getting in a fancy air conditioned car instead of Jim’s regular car with no room to move and no ac. And Jim wore a brand new crisp starched short-sleeved shirt and chinos. I had never seen him dressed so nicely.
I had planned to wear a beige linen skirt and navy blue fancy lacey top. But when I opened up the closet door there was the plum purple velvet skirt with flounces at the bottom (ruffles) which I had never worn, and the black sequined tank top I had bought that time I planned to go dancing with Abby and Janey and had wound up not going after all. So I wore that with navy blue high heels. I wore the necklace Margot made and gave me, which is a large gold heart, which looks like she made it from gold tin a car ran over, with pretty red beads. It is a pretty necklace. And I stuck on turquoise earrings at the end. I couldn’t find my lilac lipstick, so I put on bright red.
I put a pack of cigarettes in my purse, a lighter, a change purse with two dollars because Jim and I planned to stop and play the lottery on the way home, the jackpot is 300 million and Jim has his heart set on winning it, we plan to share. My bathing suit, I hoped there would be a pool there. And ten assorted size plastic bags, because Bill had asked me to bring bar b q home for him and the dogs.
Altho I had hoped Jim was going because he wanted to go too. In fact he was taking me because when his car plotzed the day before, Bill had driven him around all day. And in the morning, Bill had driven him to rent a car at the airport, and that was a long drive. Bill had taken one look at the directions on google and said “I will never find this place, ask Jim if he will take you.” So Jim was taking me to return the favor.
Since Jim votes libertarian, and listens to right wing car radio when he is not listening to sports, I thought he would fit right in there. But on the way he told me, “I'll vote for Ron Paul if he wins the ticket, but he won’t win the ticket, because the Republican Party will put their money behind the other candidates.” Then he said “you should have invited Layla, she is interested in politics.” I said “Layla’s guy is John Edwards.” He said “John Edwards is a good man, better than all the Republicans except for Ron Paul. The President is a nazi and the Republican Party is all nazis.”
I thought “O no! we are going to a party to elect Republicans, I hope Jim does not open up his mouth and say Republicans are all nazis.”
Then he drove thru South Tucson. I recognized it. And when we came to a residential neighborhood behind it where I had never been, I guess this is the residential part of South Tucson. “This is charming” I said to Jim. “A lot of coke dealers are here” he said, and pointed out a house, and said “they deal coke there.”
And then we arrived at Oahu Circle, which was a cul de sac and led nowhere. And we arrived at Oahu Road, which led nowhere. And we could not find Oahu Avenue which had our address. We rode around in circles three times.
And finally I got out to ask a man working in his yard. I was surprised to notice there were no people out on the street at all, but this is understandable in great heat. The young man was working in his yard, and boy was he lovely! He was so lovely and kind and intelligent and helpful, that I thought “South Tucson sure seems like a nice place to live.” South Tucson is where everyone lived until about 50 years ago. Where I live now was just pristine desert back then.
The man was lovely and helpful but did not know where Oahu Avenue was, and suggested we call cell phone information and ask them for the cross street. But Jim figured all the Oahus would be together, Oahu Circle, Oahu Road, Oahu Way, and he would find Oahu Avenue, which he eventually did.
I said “Jim, it is a ranch, how can it be on this road, this is completely residential.” It was just houses next to each other, not big houses, not little houses, regular houses. He said “In Tucson everyone calls their house a ranch, it doesn’t mean anything. And you don’t know what Arizonans are like, they are crazy, once in Phoenix I drove around for two houses trying to find a woman’s house, I couldn’t find it because she had named her driveway a street.”
But finally Jim said “this is where 9131 would be,” and there was a sign which said RD 91. And I looked at my paper where I had written down the address, it said “The Marcus’s Ranch RD 91.” And I read that off to Jim. And he said “if only you had told me RD 91 I would have found it a long time ago.” Who knew!
So we started to drive on a dirt road thru desert, and then I saw a car with a Ron Paul sticker on it, so I knew we were at the right place, and then I saw other cars, and up ahead in the middle of the desert, we saw a house. “This must be it” I said to Jim, “since we are only staying one hour, park where you can get out, and we don’t get boxed in.” So he made a turn off to a tiny dirt road, and he was scared to death the cactus would scratch the car because then he would have to pay for it. And I said “we’ll walk even tho I am wearing high heels.”
And he said “this is the last Republican Party event I am ever taking you to.” I guess he didn’t like getting lost on the way there, and he didn’t like parking in the middle of the desert and being scared about scratching rented car and having to pay for it. And when I leaned against the car to organize my stuff, the horn started to honk and Jim couldn’t figure out how to shut it off.
So then we trooped to the house. A man was at a microphone giving a political spiel when we arrived in the front yard. But I just walked into the middle of things, noticed the remains of bar b q on paper plates on the picnic tables, saw people in Ron Paul Revolution T shirts, waved at them, and more or less said “I’m here.”
The man was just announcing “last chance to put in your ticket for the door prize,” so I went right over, and he unrolled one ticket and put it in the hat. And the woman said, “she has to write her name on it.” I said “I want another ticket for my friend Jim.” So he popped that one in. I wrote my name on my ticket. And I found the one for Jim’s ticket and wrote his name on it. And asked someone “where is the bar b q?” and they said “go into the house and turn right.”
It was a lovely bar b q buffet set up in one big room. But of course my first focus was taking home bar b q for Bill and the dogs. So I made one heaping plate of that. And then on another paper plate I put the small cream cheese sandwiches, the olives and cherry tomatoes, and slices of watermelon for me, and just a little of the chicken bar b q with bar b q sauce. I piled both paper plates on top of each other, and tried to find a hidden place to transfer the big bar q into one of the plastic bags to put into my purse.
There was a dark table in the dark kitchen we had trooped thru to get bar b and it was deserted when I sat down. But instant I sat down people started to troop thru to get more bar b q, or to go to one of the other rooms in the house. And at first I couldn’t find a plastic bag big enough. There were two big tin foil toppings in sink, so I transferred it into that. And then discovered I had brought a JC Penny plastic shopping bag, so I shoved it all into that. And knotted it at top.
By then Jim had returned. He said “it is too hot to eat outside, I’m going to eat here.” He had made himself a beautiful plate. And he said “this is excellent bar b q.” He really loved it. And a guy came in who Jim recognized. “This is Joe from Access TV,” Jim told me. And I said to Joe, “I'll show you where the bar b q is, do you want me to get a plate for you, or do you want to choose yourself.” And I took Joe in.
And I was going to say to Joe “my friend Layla works for Access TV, do you know her,” but he was talking to Jim about illegal aliens. He was so heated on the topic. And I am so sick of that topic, because I used to be on a political forum where all they did was talk about that, and I think it is hate talk. So even tho, no way did I want to shove the big plastic bag filled with bar b q into my beautiful new red leather pocketbook, I had no choice. I did.
And I went to finish my plate outside. I saw the Ron Paul people over at one picnic table. But I thought if the Republican Party was gracious enough to invite us to their bar b q party, I should mingle with them and not go off and sit with Ron Paul people. Altho I had never met them and was curious to meet them.
Another problem I had, was because I was on political forums almost day and night for 8 years, even tho I am still immensely interested in the topic, I can’t stand talking about the topic with people in real life. I want real life to be an escape from the topics on forums. I am happy to talk about any other topic but politics. There’s been too much of it in my ears. I have heard every possible opinion there is for 7 years now.
I was sitting at my picnic table alone for about two minutes, when Joe walked out. And I said “sit by me Joe.” I was prepared to be so friendly to him, because he was Jim’s friend and Jim knew him. But no matter which conversation I started up, he did not respond. And even when I asked him a direct question, he didn’t answer. When I mentioned this to Jim in the car on the way home, he said “you should have asked him about illegal aliens, then you couldn’t have gotten him to stop talking, he is on Access TV every day talking about that.” And I thought to myself, “it sure ruined his personality that that is the only thing he cares about.”
It was totally hot in the house, they have no ac or cooler, and totally hot outside. And I was sitting with someone who refused to talk. I looked longingly at the Ron Paul party at the other table. They all looked so sexy compared to the crowd I was with.
In the buffet room the women were talking about their daughters’ pregnancy, and what the sonogram showed. And I felt like I was at a Tupperware party.
I moved over to a table in the yard which had people sitting at it. And which, to my happy surprise, there was a fan going behind me. But the man next to me was deeply engaged in conversation with the man next to him. He was a little more glossy looking than the others and maybe he was an important person, because I heard him say “whatever I can do to help, I will.”
Another man was talking to a woman who worked for the Tucson Library system. He was very upset because he has an 11 year old daughter and a 13 year old daughter who use the library, and he is very concerned people there are looking at porn on the computer and what if his daughters pass by and see it on the screen. He said he has 6 computers at home and hasn’t been to the library in years. “My daughters go because of the books, and I don’t want to admit I haven’t been to the library in years, but I am not interested in books.”
The man at the other end of the table standing up, who refused to crack a smile when I gave him a bright smile, turned out to be the local head of the NRA in Tucson. And you could see the group around him felt very uncomfortable, because each one said to the other, “did you pay your membership fees for this year?”
The one wonderful news was instant I had filled out the two tickets for the door prize, one second later the drawing took place. And a man called out “Jim Schloss! Jim Schloss! Jim Schloss!” Jim had won the door prize. And when we were sitting at the table in the kitchen I said “what did you win?” He said “I don’t know.” They had handed him a small gift bag. And he unwrapped it, and it was a fancy calculator.
There was a beautiful big crystal ashtray right in front of me. And I thought “how nice they let you smoke.” But I didn’t want to dig thru all the bar b q in my purse to find my cigarettes. So when a man behind me lit up his cigarette, I was going to ask him for one of his. But I saw he only had 3 left in his pack, and cigarettes are so expensive now.
I said “maybe you don’t have enough cigarettes to give me one.” He said “I am low.” I said “that is OK, I have a whole pack in my bag.” And I offered him one of mine, but he said he can’t stand filtered cigarettes. And I said “I understand, I don’t like menthol cigarettes.” And then we both said how badly cigarette smokers are treated. “No other minority would put up with the treatment we get” he said. And I agreed.
But when he too went on a rant about illegal aliens, “10 dollars a carton for medical care for illegal aliens! 10 dollars for education for illegal aliens!” I thought “that’s it! I am going to find Jim, time to go home!”
I went into the house and found a room where they were all sitting around watching a football game on a big screen tv, and I thought Bill would have liked it here after all, he likes to watch football. And Jim was in the kitchen talking to a woman listening very sympathetically about how he takes care of his mother. Jim’s mother is 98 years old and bed ridden. Jim does everything for her. He gets her up in the morning and bathes her. He makes her breakfast. He does her hair. Then he wakes her up for dinner. He shops every day and cooks delicious dinners for her. After she has her dinner he helps her into bed. It is a lot of work and in the morning his nephew comes over to help him get his mother out of bed.
The sympathetic woman turned out to be Mitzi, it was her house and her bar b q. And she instantly said “let me prepare a nice plate of bar b q to take home for your mom.” “And have you had enough to eat, let me prepare food for you to take home too.” And she went in and prepared exquisite meals for Jim and his mom. She buttered buns for them, prepared a cup of bar b q sauce to pour over the bar b q, put in watermelon slices and cookies for dessert. The whole works! Prepared beautifully. Jim was overjoyed. “My mom will get 3 meals out of this” he told me.
I never saw Jim so happy in my whole life as we walked back to the car. “When I walked in” he said, “the first person I met was the Mayor.” “Did you see the Mayor? he asked. “No I didn’t.” Jim said “I never met a mayor before, I didn’t recognize him, on tv he is short and fat, he doesn’t look like that, and I told him if he needs any help running the city to call me.”
Jim was overjoyed about everything. “That was excellent bar b q” he kept saying, “excellent bar b q.” He had had 3 helpings. He loved meeting the mayor, he was thrilled about it. “Do you want me to take you back to meet the mayor” he said. “No, that’s OK” I said. He was overjoyed about all the food he was taking home for his mom. And he said he knew half the people there. Jim had a great great great time.
“So did you make any political connections there?” he asked me. “No” I said, “I sat next to Joe and he refused to talk.” “You should have asked him about illegal aliens, he won’t shut up on that topic.” Jim found another route out, where there was a normal parking place, it must be the main route to the house. And a nice man in a yellow shirt, I had seen him wandering around the bar b q, I thought maybe he was the woman’s husband, was getting in a car with a slender woman. Jim waved enthusiastically at him and said “see you at the next bar b q.” And I smiled and called out “I had a wonderful time.”
“That’s the Mayor” Jim told me.
“He is?!” I said.
“Bill is going to be so upset he didn’t go” Jim said, “he could have met the Mayor.” But I didn’t think Bill would feel he missed out. Jim said “I didn’t vote for the Mayor.” I said “neither did I, I voted for Kimberly, she ran on the libertarian ticket.” “Then I must have voted for her too, I always vote libertarian.” My friend Kimberly from swim pool had run for Mayor on the libertarian ticket.
Before we had arrived at the bar b q, Jim had said “maybe I will meet a beautiful girl there.” And I said “I hope you do, Jim.” And when he was in the house so long, while I was waiting for him to come out so we could leave, I thought maybe he met a beautiful girl in there. But it turned out he was talking to Mitzi who was so sympathetic about his mother.
I took a ton of bar b q home for Bill and the dogs but I forgot to take bar b q sauce. “Here take this,” Jim said, and handed me the paper cup with tin foil neatly wrapped around the top. Mitzi had prepared the cup of bar b q sauce for Jim along with the take-out she had prepared for him. I was stunned with gratitude.
It was the first bar b q I ever had. I understood for first time why bar b q is so delicious, why everyone raves about it. But what makes bar b q so delicious is the sauce on it. I knew the dogs wouldn’t care, but for Bill it would be so much nicer if he had the whole thing. I was so happy that Jim just handed me the container of bbq sauce.
That’s when my spirits picked up. That and listening to Jim’s happiness. And of course it was fun to meet the Mayor in the parking lot. He looked good in yellow. He looked like a very nice man and sunny in yellow.
My spirits were going high again. But mainly because of Jim's happy joy. I realized never in my life have I ever seen Jim really happy. He’s a wonderful guy, he deserves to be happy, and it is a great joy to see someone completely happy. “You met the Mayor, you won the door prize, you got take-out for your mom, you had excellent bar b q, you are on a roll, Jim,” I said.
“We'll buy our lottery tickets here on the south side of town, look at all the luck it has brought us, I am on a roll, now I will win the lottery,” and he pulled into a Circle K.
His spirits were still sky high in the Circle K as we both filled out our lottery tickets. And the two women there were so nice to me when I screwed up my lottery ticket. I looked down at my black sequined top, and discovered all the sequins had come off all over my arms, and I said to the woman “and this is the first time I have worn it.” I laughed. I was just so glad to be in a Circle K and not back at the bar b q. I was glad Jim was in joy. And I was so happy with the free ice water loaded with ice they gave me. I was so thirsty and hot.
And we drove back under the most beautiful huge desert sky at sunset I ever saw. Only on the south side of town do they get a sky like this, vast and open. And Jim was swimming in joy and I was in joy for Jim till his cell phone rang. And I heard him say “She tried to commit suicide! Well what can I do? I am out west. Can’t her mom help? Now they will take away her children for sure.” He said “I am out west, I can’t do anything.” And when Jim got off he said his niece tried to commit suicide. He was very upset. He kept saying what an idiot his niece is.
He is upset with his sister, who won’t come to visit their mom and wouldn’t even call or visit her on her birthday. When his sister wanted to move back to Tucson from New York, he had told her “stay where you are, we don’t want you and all your problems here.” But his sister had moved back anyway with her two kids. Jim is very upset with his sister, “as far as I am concerned I am a single child, I don’t have any siblings.”
His sister’s children do have a lot of problems. Jim is always going to court with his niece to get her children back. Or driving his nephew around because his car broke down. In fact when Jim is not taking care of his mother, he is helping his niece and nephew. He went to Phoenix to go to court with her three times.
After the phone call I guess Jim’s happiness evaporated. And he became the same as he always is when I am with him. I never realized that Jim is not happy until I saw him so happy for that brief time. Because after the phone call he was how he always is, ranting and raving about everything under the sun.
He said “all I want to do is get back home, smoke a joint, let the cat back in, give my cat her dinner, and go to sleep.”
When he was still happy before the phone call, after we got out of the Circle K, he referred to me as “Miss Sparkly.” I realized it was the only nice thing anyone had said to me for the whole bar b q. And I thought he meant my bright smile, but maybe he meant the sparkles which had come off my top and were all over my arms.
Jim had pointed out a Border Control vehicle on the way there, and said “do you want me to turn you in, you will get a free trip to Mexico.” I thought I bet I can pass for a Mexican with my curly hair and olive skin.
Jim dropped me off and Bill and dogs all seemed very happy having their lovely quiet time at home. Bill was thrilled because the Cardinals game was on tv after all and had just come on. I instantly made 3 heaping bowls of bar b q, for Bill and the two dogs, and poured the bar b q sauce all over Bill’s portion. Luckily there was a nice roll and soft butter on the counter, Bill could have his own buttered roll.
And I stripped off my clothes and put on a sarong and went to lie down in my quiet dark bedroom. I lit up with delight when Bill came in during a commercial to tell me it is excellent bar b q, he is so happy with it. And he informed me Beanie stole all of Lulu’s food, and he had to give Lulu some of his. He made such cute jokes about Beanie, and Beanie stealing Lulu’s food, that I realized when my husband is in an up mood, no one delights me more.
He was very happy to hear Jim had such a good time, and he even liked the door prize Jim won. “Good!” he said when I told him Jim won a fancy calculator.
In some ways it is easier to go with a man who is not your husband. When night started to fall and Jim realized he didn’t know how to work the lights on the rented car, he was so blasé about it until he got it to work. I thought if I were with Bill he would have worried about more things. But when he made 5 jokes about Beanie in a row, it was so much fun and made me laugh so much.
I guess when push comes to shove what I got out of my outing, was the joy of seeing my friend Jim happy. And having a total departure from my regular life. The monotony of my days was really getting me down. But as I lied still in my sweet bedroom, with stuffed-with-barbeque-Beanie at the side of the bed, suddenly my regular life seemed like bliss, instead of something I wished I could have a change from.
I remembered once asking my mom when she still lived in NYC before she moved to Walnut Creek, why she went on so many trips during her vacations from work. And she said because when she gets home, she appreciates her life again.
It made no sense to me then that she would go on a trip when she didn’t enjoy the trip. But I understand now how your regular life needs to be refreshed. And how a trip, or a Republican bar b q on the south side of town, is just the ticket to do it...
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